Fourteen Years
by HappyLittlePychopath
Summary: For fourteen years Helga has thrived as a publishing author, Arnold has explored the World, and neither has prepared for what meeting again after all that time would mean. When fate brings them back together, and forced them to work as a team, will they pick up where they left off or is fourteen years too long?
1. Chapter 1

Helga bounds out the door of her apartment building nodding thank you to the large doorman whom held the door open before she could crash into it. Normally she'd be more polite, he was the person stopping everyone and their mother from raiding her loft on a daily basis, but tonight was not a normal night. Helga had dinner with Phoebe and Gerald every Friday night she was in town, six o'clock every Friday for the last five years, until today. Phoebe text her this morning asking to move dinner back to seven, Helga knew something was up. She races around the corner and crashes head first into a rather muscular chest causing both to go tumbling to the ground.

"Watch where you going you…" She shouted, rubbing her elbow that took the brunt of her fall, stopping the insult sitting on her lips upon closer inspection of the person who got in her way. He was taller than she remembered, more muscular less boyish. His hair was still long but now laid against his head, his head! Although it was much less oblong it still faintly resembled a football. He was on his feet much quicker than she could be and reached out to help her up, muttering apologies until his eyes locked on hers. His breathing catching in his throat and a smile rips across his cheeks. He tears her from the ground and into a bone crushing hug. Her mind as turned to mush.

"Helga, holy cow, it's really you!" He places her on the ground and steps back appraising her while still holding her hand. "Oh my, you look absolutely beautiful!" He takes in her as a whole. Her long blonde hair thrown up into a mess pony tail, tendrils slipping out of place and framing her ice blue eyes. Her lips sent a scowl so familiar he felt he knew it better than the back of his own hands. He looks down the rest of her body and appreciates her form, she is tall and thin, muscular without being too built. She had the body of an athlete with the looks of a model.

"Take a picture it'll last longer," she spits as she tears his hand away.

"Glad to see some things never change," a chuckle escapes his full, even lips. He pulls her into another hug, "It's been, God, fourteen years already?"

She pulls back, disbelief swept across her face, "Yea, fourteen years bucko. Now it's been nice seeing that you as in the way as ever, but I really have to be going, I'm expected somewhere." His face brightens ever more.

"Are you going to Phoebe and Gerald's? I'm supposed to meet them for dinner but I got lost and have been wondering around for nearly twenty minutes." Her mouth popped open slightly, how could they invite him without telling her? Didn't they have any respect for how she would feel just seeing him again? "Want to walk together? You can fill me in on what's been happening with your life!" He takes her hand again leading her the wrong way down the street.

"Well, since you won't let go of my damn hand I suppose I'll have to make sure you go the right way which, for your information, we're not." He stops immediately and smiles an apologetic half smile. She sighs and shakes her head, turning them in the correct direction and beginning to walk. "There's not much to know. I'm a writer. That's about all."

"H. Bliss is just a writer now, huh? Last I read she was regarded as the greatest author of the 21st century." He saw the blush cross her cheeks and raises his free hand in defense from the scorn he was about to receive. "I'm not stupid Helga, and I do read your books, their some of my favorites. I knew it was you from the first I read, I'd recognized the unique perspective of your words. Plus, Dr. Bliss was the school therapist who openly wanted to adopt you."

"Yea, well, if you know me so well what are you asking questions for?" She answers him defensively, he again raises his hands in surrender. "I'm H. Bliss, you happy? I'm in Hillwood because I just finished up another book and every time I finish I come home for a few months and check up on everyone. Meriam is a recovering alcoholic, Big Bob a money hungry asshat. I haven't seen him in three years, yes they're still married but I'm good at avoiding people. I've got a couple other places in some cities around the world, that way I'm never stuck somewhere I don't want to be."

"Where are they, anywhere fun?"

"Not really. One here, one in Los Angeles, one in San Lorenzo, and a few others throughout world in remote locations I'd rather keep to myself."

"You have a place in San Lorenzo? I've spent most of my life wandering around its jungles and you've been a few miles away?" Hurt flashes across his face causing her heart to grow heavy.

"It's in the heart of the city, I'm only there when I need a reminder of how beautiful it is for my books, besides there's not an easy way to reach you bucko." His hurt melts off a little, but it still mares his eyes. "Enough about me, if you're a 'fan' you'll know more than I like to share already. Tell me what you've been up too, how has traveling the world off the grid been?"

"It's been fun. This is my first time back since we all left together. I was in the rainforest when I got a call from my dad that Grandpa broke his plastic hip and needs a replacement surgery. I'm home to run the boarding house while he gets the surgery and recovers."

"You're dad called?" She tilts her head slightly to the left biting her lip, "don't you live with them?"

"Nah, when I turned 18 I began traveling on my own, I've been to every continent at least twice, my new goal is to hit every country. I got my doctorate in cultural anthropology last month actually."

"How do you go to college when you're hiding in the jungle?" She cuts him off, confusion coloring her eyes.

"I have a laptop, and a hot spot." He laughs, squeezing her hand, "anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted," she glares at him, "the only person I really talked to all these years was Gerald. Fill me in, what's happened to our fourth grade gang?"

She snorts, "They're exactly how you'd imagine. Rhonda is a designer in Milan, she's decently successful at it. Curly is her business partner."

"Curly is a fashion partner?"

"Well, doi. 1. He's working with the love of his life. 2. His family owned that dry cleaners up the street from our school. 3. He's always been a little eccentric, don't you remember his dancing?" He shrugs his shoulders, slightly embarrassed at her tone, "Anyway, before I was so rudely interrupted, they sleep together once after every collection, beyond that it's strictly business. Eugene and Sheena live in NYC. He's an actor on Broadway and she's a playwright and director. They moved in together during college and date on and off. They invite me to a lot of their opening nights since I'm in a similar business. Uhm, you know about Phoebe and Gerald. Harold and Patty have two kids and are happily married since the summer after high school. Stinky and Sid live in a 'bro pad' downtown, they own a popular restaurant that specializes in seasonal dishes. Sid cooks the food and Stinky grows almost everything himself on his family's old plot. Lila and Arnie moved in together, he finally gave up on me and she's smitten. Nadine is a new age hippie who travels the county collecting bugs, according to her blog she's a vegan and believes in meditation. I will admit her dreads are pretty cool. Everyone else is still around town or off at college."

"Wow, I'm honestly a little impressed you kept up with everyone."

"You'd be surprised what writers block can cause you to do." She smirks a him. She stops short and ushers him with her free arm to the entrance of a historic apartment building.

Phoebe rushes around the apartment one last time making sure everything was ready for their friends to come over. She felt dizzy and slightly overwhelmed, this would be interesting. Gerald sits at the counter in the kitchen watching her, a smile etched into his face. She was the most beautiful girl he'd ever seen. She was still petite but had grown have the same shape as her mother. Her hair was worn to her chin, accentuating her gray eyes. He is a lucky man indeed. They hear voices approaching their door, voices discussing the pros and cons of historic buildings. Phoebe stations herself at the entrance and Gerald walks over behind her, lying an arm around her waist, she is nervous for the tongue lashing she is about to receive. There is no knock, no ringing of a doorbell, just the bang as the door hit the back wall and the sight of Helga walking in and kicking off her shoes. Arnold stands behind her and much taller than either Phoebe or Gerald remember. He watches with amusement as Helga strolls over the couch and flops down.

"My man!" Gerald nearly shouts out causing Phoebe to jump forward slightly. Arnold and he exchange their handshake from childhood before hugging tightly and slapping each other's backs. Arnold then turns his attention to Phoebe noting how much she had changed but how her eyes were still calculating everything around her at a million miles a minute. They hug, not nearly as hard as he and Gerald had, but hard enough to crack a few vertebrae in her upper back.

"Crap, I'm sorry Phoebe it's just so amazing seeing you guys again. You've both changed so much, like Gerald," he turns addressing his friend, "the goatee is a lot cooler than I thought it would be."

"Well of course it is, you know the ladies love good facial hair."

"Oh the ladies, Gerald. Just how many females are you corresponding with?" Phoebe asks with mock jealousy.

"Just you foxy mama." Gerald's arms wrap around her waist, pulling her into him from behind and kissing her neck. Arnold feels a pain of jealousy stab at his chest, he wants a relationship that was loving and teasing. His attention is diverted when he hears the sound system click on and a Dino Spumoni song begins to play.

"You're really comfortable here aren't you Helga," he teases the brilliant blonde as she puts the remote down and walks back over to her group of friends intently.

"She should be, this was her apartment before she gifted it to Gerald and I."

"Wait, she gave you guys this place?"

"Yes, when Gerald and I decided it was time to move in together. She had bought it when she turned 18 with money she had saved from publishing her poetry. She furnished it for us and everything. We're still trying to find a way to repay her." Arnold stands silent for a long moment. Helga gave her first apartment to her friends free of charge. She's changed much more then Arnold initially realized and he is determined to discover how deep that change traveled.

"Phoebe Heyerdahl!" Helga screams while grabbing Phoebe's left hand and pulling it to her face, "When the hell were you planning on telling me about this?!"

"Over a nice dinner…" Phoebe sheepishly smiled at her best friend whose own eyes were glistening. Helga pulls Phoebe into soul crushing hug, both girls giggling and crying. Arnold looks to Phoebe's hand and sees what the fuss is about, on it is a ring with a diamond so large it could be used as a marble. He slaps Gerald on the back, he had said it was important for Arnold to be at dinner tonight.

After twenty minutes of congratulations and crying, everyone was calm enough to sit at the dinner table and begin eating as well has hearing of Hillwood High's class couple finally decided to tie the knot.

"Helga nearly had an aneurism when I asked her to come an hour later to dinner tonight." Gerald chuckled.

"Look hairboy, we've had this tradition for years, changing up tradition is grounds for some anger, granted now I can forgive you indiscretion seeing how happy Phoebe is about pushing the time back."

"I needed to wait until sunset to make it perfect!"

"How did you propose, Gerald?"

"Well, you see, I wanted to do something special, something that would mean a lot to her. Phoebe and I had our first kiss in 5th grade at the end of the year picnic on Elk Island. It was at sunset and it was exactly thirteen years ago today. I had lead her down to the water's edge while everyone else set up a bonfire for s'mores. I confessed that I had a crush on her for a while and that I wanted her to know how I felt and she could do with it whatever she wanted. I was pretty convinced she'd let me down easy but I got the surprise of my life when she stood up on her toes and gave me the smallest, softest kiss of my entire life before walking back to an angry Helga yelling for her without a word."

"I didn't know she was with you! I thought she was lost or something." Helga defends herself blushing pink.

"At the time I was quite grateful for the pardon. You gave me a lot to think about." Phoebe takes his hand in hers smiling.

"I've known I wanted to marry her when she didn't stop loving me for failing my first ten showcases. I feel like most women would have been out the door and there she was, at every show, supporting me and laughing at all of my terrible jokes. I used the money I saved not needing to pay for an apartment on the ring, thank you Helga, and brought her back to the spot that started it all. I made her turn to the water and watch the sunset and got down on one knee behind her. I was nervous as hell. I memorized this whole speech and completely forgot it as soon as I got down. To be honest, I have no idea what I said to her."

"You said, 'Do you remember this spot Phoebs? This is the first place I told you that I had a crush on you. When my best friend left you decided to be there for me and to care about me. You actually never told me if you liked me back, to this day it could all be some big elaborate prank, but I know how I feel about you. The best memories in my life all involve you. Some of them are from when we were kids but most of them are from being your man. Waking up next to you on lazy Sunday morning, watching your eyes come alive when you're trying to figure something out, how patient you are teaching me things, how you're so beautiful but have no problem getting down and dirty. I love you Phoebe, I love your laugh, your smile, your compassion, your determination, everything about you. Phoebe Heyerdahl, will you do me the honor of being my wife until time stops existing?" Phoebe wipes her eyes on her napkin while Gerald wraps an arm around her.

"That's beautiful…" Helga smiles looking down, "I'm not sure even I could have written something better."

"Well thank you, do you know how she answered me though?" He pauses for a moment, "she turned around, kissed me softly, and walked away! I nearly had a damn heart attack, laying my heart on the line and she did that."

"Well, I had to do something memorable!" she laughs, "Moreover when you didn't get up and follow me I turned around and told you yes." Everyone dissolves into laughter.

The rest of the meal is spent catching up old friends and sharing jokes from years gone by. By the time the meal was finished it felt like no time had passed at all between them, they were still a bunch of fourth graders who had all the time in the world.

"There is a reason we asked you both hear tonight, beyond Friday night tradition," Phoebe starts softly, "Helga you have been my best friend my whole life. You have seen me through thick and thin and although we have had our differences I consider you my sister. As such I would be lost without you by my side on my wedding day. Helga, will you be my maid of honor?"

"When you put it like that I don't have much of a choice do I?" Helga smiles. She scoots her chair out and walks around the table, pulling Phoebe into a tight hug. "I would be honored to stand next to you Phoebs, I love you, you know that."

"Arnold, man, it's been fourteen years since we've spent time hanging out but I can't get married without my main man by my side. We'll have a ton of time while the girls plan the wedding to catch up. Will you be my best man? Lord knows I can't trust Jamie O not to lose the rings on me." Arnold laughs and both men get up to exchange a handshake and hug. As Helga steps back she takes in the scene happily. She is going to be the Maid of Honor in her best friend's wedding. The thought fills her with contentment although dread is creeping up her spine. She realizes with slight horror, she just agreed to walk down the aisle with the love of her childhood.

 _Hey guys! Thank you so much for reading! Although I do have Another Chapter which is also a Hey Arnold fic I had the idea for this buzzing like a damn hornet in my head for weeks. I will update both on a semi regular basis. I'm sorry for the weak ending I didn't want to stop writing but I had to because this is already over three thousand words! Please leave reviews to help guide me!_


	2. Chapter 2

Helga and Arnold gather their things to leave, it had been a long evening. Phoebe and Helga discussed the rest of her bridal party and the pre planning steps needed to have the wedding prepared for a year from now while Arnold and Gerald caught up on trivial things.

"I'll call you first thing in the morning Helga, we will finalize the bridal party and begin looking at venues." Phoebe excitedly chirps as she walks her friends out the door, "I'm so thrilled to be doing this all with you!"

Helga waves her hand to her best friend already tired for the day before her. As the door shuts Arnold's throaty chuckle fills the air. One part of her fills with butterflies, the sweet noise rumbles down the hall echoing back to her over and over, the other part of her fills with annoyance, plain and simple. "What's so funny football head? Not like you're free of the burden we just signed up for. In fact I think I'll remind Phoebe of the importance of you two men helping every step of the way."

His eyes shone dangerously playful, like a lion stalking its mate in a game of cat and mouse, perhaps not a lion but her mind was unable to see him as any animal without a gorgeous yellow mane. "You wouldn't dare." His body pressed close to hers as he pressed the elevator button, his breath pouring over her neck and filling her nose with his musky and rich aroma. She resists the urge to shudder and instead steps away from him. Another low chuckle fills the air. "Guess I'm right then."

"You know, it's really quite rude to stand that close to someone." She clears her throat while stepping into the elevator. It took entirely too long to get there in her opinion, it may be a historic building but that shouldn't mean grossly outdated. He steps in behind her, again pushing the limits of her tolerance for lack of personal space.

"If I remember correctly, Ms. Pataki, last time I was this close you couldn't think to push me away." She looks him square in the eyes to see bloodshot lines connecting his skin to the jungle green. She is briefly brought back to their time surrounded by the trees, they were fourteen years younger and a peck on the lips was taboo. He steps closer to her, his chest to hers, her back on the wall of the elevator. "Am I wrong Helga?" The smell of his breath again dazed her but this time the faint tinge of alcohol caught her attention.

"Dear God, are you drunk?" She pushes hard against his body, knocking him back several steps, "What the hell did Gerald give you?"

His face flushes crimson and his once confident gaze shoots to his shoes. "I'm not drunk, maybe tipsy. We had wine with dinner and some celebratory shots once Phoebe was out of ear shot, she doesn't approve of mixing drinks. Thinks its bad or something." Helga rolls her eyes and opens her mouth to lecture him when he stops her, "I'm not an alcoholic, I promise I almost never drink, and I don't think I've had anything besides a beer since my twenty first birthday."

"Well she's right football head, it's bad to mix shit because tomorrow when you wake up you'll be begging me to bash your head until you pass back out. As for the alcoholic nonsense, I'm a writer, I'd get my club card revoked if I didn't know how to drink until the words came."

"Huh?"

"Nothing Arnoldo," She links her arm through his to keep him from wandering away from her, there was no way she could let the light weight wander through a city he barely knows sober. "You're going to be a bear to deal with tomorrow, I can't leave you for your grandparents to handle. You're coming home with me bucko but no funny business." She knows she'll regret this as soon as they wake up tomorrow.

"Mm, Helga, you have no idea how many times I've dreamt about hearing you say that." The purr of seduction colors his voice again.

"We'll talk about that tomorrow too. Come on, let's get you home."

Helga leads Arnold down the streets, his walk is fine but his desire to wander and talk slows her considerably. What would have been a fifteen minute walk alone takes nearly forty-five with her companion. Once up in her loft, with a very amused look from her doorman greeting her, she lies him down in her bed and tucks him in, he was so tired he did not argue her. She grabs a pair of Hillwood high sweat pants and throws her clothing in the hamper. Pulling a large fleece blanket with her she curls up on the couch, playing and replaying her after noon until sleeps sweet embrace lulls her away from reality.

Arnold awakens to the smell of scrambled eggs and the popping of bacon in his ears. The smell very nearly causes him to retch, it's delicious odor overpowering to his turning stomach. He pulls a pillow over his head but is taken back by its smooth and silky feel. These aren't his pillows or his sheets. He sits up in an all-white room, rather an all-white loft and looks around trying to remember how he ended up in this strange place. His eyes stop when they reach her, standing half naked in the kitchen. She is in a pair of ragged sweat pants and a bra. Her back is to him but he can see her flipping the bacon, humming along to a song he did not register until now. She shuffles from foot to foot on the cool wooden floor, her hair pulled into a wild pony with more pieces loose than actually held in the tie. He quickly feels for his clothing, thankfully all still on, seeing her so exposed. Her body was even more glorious than he expected, the skin pulled taught over muscles that moved with her every step. He stumbles out of bed in a trance, much louder than he anticipated.

She turns, startled by his sudden awakening. "Morning football head, how'd you sleep?" He looks at her cautiously, when had Helga ever been a morning person, as if sensing his concern she smiles and lifts a mug his way, "Third cup of tea this morning, I prefer it to coffee, gentler on the stomach. Come on over though, I've been up for a while so I made pancakes, eggs, bacon, and there's some fruit salad from yesterday in the fridge if you can grab it out."

"Uhm, don't you want to put a shirt on?" She looks down at her nearly naked upper body and shrugs her shoulders.

"I normally don't, I spill a lot. If it bugs you I can throw one on though." He looks down sheepishly, afraid of staring and offending her. With a huff she walks to her dresser and pulls out an old tank top stalking back over to the table while tugging it over her head. They both take a seat at the table, all laid out with food and set for two, it looks like something out of a home magazine. "Happy now? After last night though I'm surprised you minded."

"Thank you Helga. I'm sorry about last night, like I said I'm not a drinker. I'd also like to admit you were 100% right, I may be begging you to bash me in if I can keep any food down." With another annoyed huff she struts to a cabinet and grabs a bottle of Advil and places it on the table in front of him. "I know this must be really annoying for you, having me hear and all, after I eat I'll get going and let you get back to your life."

"As if football head, I already text Phoebe that you and hair boy should look at venues with us. It should only take all day. I warned you last night that I would."

He chuckled softly, "You always do follow through on your threats don't you?"

"That I do, so eat up and go home and get ready. Phoebe has fourteen possible places picked and we have to tour them all." He could see the reservation in her eyes.

"You're not excited about all of this are you? Not like you were last night."

She puts down her fork and chews a mouth full of pancakes thoughtfully. She chases them down with a swig of juice and pauses for a moment. "I'm excited for her and excited to be a part of this but at the same time I promised her I wouldn't leave for a year, something I haven't promised anyone since I was eighteen. I never write in Hillwood, this is a reprieve from work, which means I won't be working on a new project until after the wedding. And all that means I will have no idea what to do with myself all day. I'm used to working until the crack of dawn on story lines and character development, I toured jungles and took photos to get the settings of my stories perfect. I don't know who I am without working."

He nods sympathetically, "Maybe fate thinks it's time for you to slow down and learn."

"Fate?" Her laughter peeled like a bell, "You believe in that crap?"

"Well…yea. I mean I think there's some kind of guiding force in our lives that helps us along."

"How do you explain my life then? My neglectful childhood, tortured teen years"

"Your childhood made you strong and independent. Your teen years inspired some of the most influential books of a century. Your early twenties have been spent, from what you tell me, traveling the world and doing what you love. Doesn't sound so bad to me." He lifts his fork to his mouth happily, her eyes alive with annoyance it made her look so beautiful.

"Alright, fine. A crappy start has made me some good money. How do you explain us meeting again though? We don't see each other for nearly a decade and a half and now you're in my loft eating pancakes. What does fate have to say about that?"

"Oh that one's easy," his goofy smile she loved so much as a girl came alive in his eyes, "To give our best friends the wedding of a century!" She tried to stifle the smile creeping on her lips, she couldn't argue his point though.

"Yea, yea, yea. You know, for someone whose hung over, you talk a lot."

"What can I say, I like talking to you." His smile growing larger. Her heart sinks, she needs to have that other conversation with him.

"Arnold, can we have a serious conversation?" Her heart speeds up, the lump in her throat growing by the second.

"Of course Helga, what's up?"

"Look, if we're going to be working together on this wedding, if we're going to be friendly, we need to set boundaries. We haven't seen each other in fourteen years until yesterday. I thought about you but you haven't been a part of my life since I was nine years old, more than half our lives have been spent apart even though they began intertwined. I am not the same girl who you knew as a kid, I grew up, I'm sure you have too. We can't be having these little sleepovers, we can't be flirting, and we can't be eating breakfast in my kitchen in pajamas and yesterday's clothes. We have to get along for Phoebe and Gerald but, Arnold, this is strictly for them. Okay? I don't want you to get the wrong idea…" Her head dips down, she grabs at her juice and drinks to fill the silence.

"Helga, we can't just ignore what we had between us…"

She coughs on her juice, eyes widening slightly insane, "We were nine! Children Arnold, absolute babies. I thought I was in love with you because I was so neglected at home and you were so kind to me. We kissed what, three or four times in our lives? You're making it sound like we're some kind of divorced couple."

"Helga, I know how I felt about you…how I feel about you. That's not something I can ignore." He runs his hands through his hair.

"How you feel about me, really?" She gets up from the table swiftly, putting her dishes into the sink with a clatter, "You barely know me Arnoldo. How can you love what you don't know?"

"I know you better than you think. I've read every book you've written, I've read between the lines. Maybe you're right, maybe I do need to know you better but I want to try. I want the chance at what nine year old me was too stupid to really appreciate. I remember how it felt when you kissed me in the play as children. I remember when you kissed me after stopping the mall from being built, and your speech when you were 'caught up in the moment'. I remember the first time I kissed you in the middle of the jungle. I remember how every time my lips burned and I couldn't figure out why. I know what you heart feels like when it races and what you taste like. I'm not saying we have to be together, I'm not even talking about really dating. Let me get to know you and you get to know me and let's see where things go."

She stands immobile facing the sink. Her eyes are beginning to swim, he's hitting too close for comfort. "Arnold, I don't think it's a good idea…"

He stands, pushing his chair back from the table and gathering his dishes. "Whatever you say Helga, whatever you say." He places his things into the sink and kisses her cheek softly, "Just know you can't change how I feel." He crosses the room, putting on his shoes and leaves to get ready to tour venues. Helga washes the dishes slowly and dries each item, putting it away delicately. Its 10am and she's already exhausted.

Her phones ring tone pierces the silence, Helga scrambles to get it knowing full well who it will be.

"Hey Phoebe, I know I know I'll be ready to go in twenty minutes. Arnold just left and I need to take a quick shower. Before you start, nothing happened and nothing is going to happen. He was too tipsy to find his way home last night so I made him stay here. Thank Gerald for mixing drinks. Anyway we ate breakfast and he left. I know we have a ton of ground to cover today so let me go and shower and get ready. I'll grab Arnold from the Boarding House and meet you at the harbor. Now I'm hanging up. Love you Phoebs, see you soon." Helga sighed and hung up the phone, grabbing her towel and walking over to the bathroom, today was going to be a very long day indeed.


	3. Chapter 3

"Fuck me," Helga sighs as she reaches the bottom floor of her building, she left her keys locked upstairs. "Well, no time to turn around and wait for the building supervisor, I'll call him when I get home…whenever that will be." She walks out of the lobby, catching her reflection in the process. She tried more than normal, of course she did. She was helping Phoebe find the location where she would promise to whatever higher powers that be, that calls for more than her normal sweats. It had absolutely nothing to do with a certain football headed man who caused her pulse to sky rocket and admitted he had feelings for her less than an hour ago, not at all. Her clothes aren't too out of the ordinary anyway. A pair of jeans she wore for meetings, she despised meetings and refused to wear anything dressier than jeans which were a far cry from the leggings she normally lived in, a light pink off the shoulder sweater that was light weight, and a pair of black booties with a wedge heel for comfort. Her hair is tossed into its usual messy pony, still wet from her shower. This is for Phoebe she tells herself once again, rushing up the street toward the boarding house.

She should have really taken the bus, her building was across the street from the park, next to the clock tower, about nine blocks from Sunset Arms. By the time she makes it to the building Arnold is sitting patiently on the stoop, smiling widely at her approach. It is as if he doesn't remember this morning's conversation. He gets up and takes her hand, smiling like an idiot the whole time. She opens her mouth to scold him on staring, again, when his other hand flies up and a flash catches her off guard.

"You always tell me to take a photo because it'll last longer, so I did. Now you can't complain I never listen to you." His goofy smile shot butterflies into her heart and her murderous glare softens into a normal scowl. She could play hard to get as long as she wants, Arnold smiles to himself, he's been waiting years to see her again.

"Yea, yea football head. Let's get going we have seven places to check out today. Phoebe wants to go down the list starting at the Aquarium."

"Gerald mentioned how cool it would be to get married in the tunnel, surrounded by sea life. I think it's because Phoebe took some Marine Biology classes in college."

Helga sighs, shaking her head, "Half of where they picked is by water; the Aquarium, under the bridge, and both parks. The other options are up in the mountains or two churches they want to check out. One of them is where Coach Wittenberg and Tish got married when we were kids." A smile forms over his lips as he recalls the ceremony from years ago.

"There were some strange people in Hillwood back then, what man in his right mind would has a fourth grader to be his Man of Honor? And Tish asking you…did they not have any friends or family? I still remember how you looked in the pink cupcake of a dress." His tone edges on teasing. He watches her face blush crimson while her brain works through the memories of that day.

"You dope, I was forced into the dress and we felt bad for them. Pathetic couple is still fighting and making up every couple weeks. I can't believe they haven't killed each other. The fact Phoebe is even thinking of getting married there makes me loose brain cells." She barks as she climbs onto the wheezing bus. Arnold takes a seat beside her, turning his body to face her again. They talk more about the adults of their youth recalling the chaos that could have been averted if someone had been paying attention. Suddenly all of the hair of Helga's neck stood up as she registered a quiet wheezing in her ear, very different from the sound of the bus, more phlegm and labored breathes that groans and coughs of old mechanics. Sensing her obvious discomfort, Arnold turns to the seat behind him and nearly falls over.

"Holy crap, Brainy, it's good to see you!" Arnold stands and gives a firm and enthusiastic handshake to his former classmate. Helga balls her fists and digs her nails into her palms, every time she's in town he manages to sneak up on her like that and even though it's been years since she actually hit him the gut instinct was the same.

"Um…Hey." Brainy shakes Arnold's hand cautiously, his eyes never leaving Helga. She avoids his gaze, opting to look out the window and ignore the situation behind her completely.

"How have you been? It's been years!" His never ending optimism and cluelessness drives Helga insane. She chews her lower lip, a habit she developed that helps her from making comments she'd regret later.

"Um…good." His wheezing made more noise than the few words he would spare. Arnold notices his locked gaze and feels a heat rise up his spine. Had Brainy taken his eyes off Helga since they noticed him? Jealousy isn't an emotion Arnold had much practice with but he knew he didn't like the way it made his stomach curl.

"Well football head this is our stop." She stands abruptly, walking toward the opening doors of the bus without waiting for Arnold. He nods a goodbye to Brainy before rushing after her. She's standing up against the wall, hands wrapped around her arms and shaking slightly. He reaches out and softly touches her cheek, bringing her gaze to his.

"You okay Helga?" Her eyes locked to his, forehead creased in confusion.

"I'm fine, can we get going though, Phoebe will murder us if were late. She has this day planned to the minute." He steps to the side allowing her to lead the way once again. He can see the Whale rising out of the sea of buildings, almost like he was Jonah and this whale would swallow him whole. "Brainy makes me uncomfortable if you really need to know. In sophomore year of high school it got out that he had been stalking me for years. I knew he had a crush on me, he'd always show up when I was walking by myself, but I didn't know how far it went. He had pictures of me getting changed and had carved my name into his leg or something when I wouldn't go to homecoming with him. Fucked up kid honestly. I told him if he went to therapy I wouldn't press charges. I knew crushes could make a person kind of crazy so I didn't want to punish him that badly. I did warn him if I ever caught wind of him doing it again I'd be the one in prison, for murder. I barely see him but whenever I do its always with him showing up behind me, gives me a mix of the creeps and a strong desire to knock him out."

The jealousy creeps further up his spine and settles into the back of his throat, it's hot and acidic taste contorting his face. "Do you think he still…" He can't finish the sentence with his eyes clouding over in red.

"Stalking me?" Her causality about the situation was forced and awkward. "I doubt it, I'm never home enough to be caught. Enough about him though, let's go convince our friends that getting married in a giant whale is not the way to go.

The day wore on slowly, everyone felt it. Even Phoebe with her boundless enthusiasm for each place was losing her pep. They had scouted every location she had complied and none felt right. Sure there was beauty, under the bridge was surprisingly serene, but at none was she able to picture herself pledging her love to Gerald for the rest of her life. Gerald holds her hand, running his thumb over the smooth skin. He is tired and largely discouraged. Why was there nowhere in the city good enough for his little lady? The group walks nearly silent through the city streets by the stadium.

"I'm truly sorry everyone, it seems everywhere we went was a failure." Her head hangs low, she knows it's not really her fault but knowing everyone spent a day wandering for something so elusive made Phoebe feel heavy with guilt.

"Snap out of it Phebes! It's a big city, there's lots of places to get married. Dear god, host it on Elk Island for all anyone cares, as long as you two are happy nothing else matters." Helga's absentminded comment catches her friends' attention while she strolls along the sidewalk.

"Babe, that's not a bad idea. It'd be a bit of a pain to get to once you're all dressed but that spot is special to us. It has the view of the city we want, its outdoors, there's enough space to have anyone we could want…"

"It's not inside a whale!" Arnold adds chuckling. The gears in Phoebe's head began to turn as everyone slowed to a stop awaiting her response. She pictures the area's beach, the water was calm enough to not induce waves. She could have tents set up in the woods a shot way back that would serve as the reception area. As long as there was a catering company willing to travel across the water she saw it being a gorgeous wedding, and one with extreme value.

"I think that would be perfect! I'm a little embarrassed I didn't think of it myself, it's much more romantic than I was thinking. Thank you Helga. I know the comment was more of a joke but it really is a brilliant idea." She smiles at her best friend, ever grateful for her inability to keep sarcasm to herself.

"What can I say? Writers brain." Helga smiles brightly to the once again happy couple. With the weight of where off everyone's shoulders some energy returned to the group. "Any thoughts of the rest of the yahoos in the wedding party? I know you mentioned some of our old classmates or maybe your old roommate April."

"We wanted to talk to you guys about that. Phoebe and I were thinking and we feel like it would be the most honest to ourselves to have you guys and no one else. Honestly, I have a lot of friends but you two are the only people I can't see us doing this without."

"I'm fine with that, just know the Bachelor party is going to be a lot less fun without the guys to cause trouble." Arnold playfully punches Gerald in the arm. Helga takes Phoebes free hand and squeezes it wordlessly. If she wanted the four of them up at the alter that is how it would happen.

"Now that you have a place picked we have to see about permits and all of that fun stuff." Arnold reminds his friends, the hard part may be done but the work is just beginning.

"We'll make some phone calls tomorrow, Phoebe and I have to head over to my parents place with hers to have a 'family dinner'. Now that we're engaged they all feel the need to make a big deal out of nothing." They could see the annoyance on Gerald's face, "It's not our parents I mind but Jamie and Timberly are treating Phoebe like a shiny new toy."

"Gerald," she scolds softly, "I love that they are excited to have me as an official sister. I grew up with Helga as my stand in sibling, I'm excited to have them." His faces softens and he kisses her forehead.

"I know, I'm sorry. It's just weird for me, we've been together so long I don't see why a ring makes anything any different." Arnold and Helga look at each other, giving the couple a moment of privacy.

"Well guys, looks like you're free today. We have some family stuff to get done tomorrow so is Monday ok for you guys to help with guest lists and phone calls?"

"I'm free, Helga?"

"What am I going to be doing? Not like I can write here." She half jokes.

"Perfect, then we will see you then!" Phoebe and Gerald walk off leaving Arnold and Helga with a free night ahead of them.

"Well it's been fun but I have to head home and harass my landlord to come out from his cave and let me in with a spare key. Have a good night bucko." Helga turns to leave but is caught by his hand on her wrist.

"Why do you need a spare key?"

"Doi, I locked mine in the house. Why else would I need him to let me in?" She barks, his cheeks color red and his eyes cast down. "You didn't think I meant… oh God no, gag me with a spoon. My landlord is the biggest, fattest, laziest jackass I know and I knew Harold as a kid. Besides, not that it's any of your business, but I haven't had that in close to a year. I've been too busy working to have time for meaningless dates in run down bars."

Although still bright red a mischievous smile paints his lips. "So I'm guessing asking you to join me for a couple beers and some dinner would be out of the question?" His smile grows wider the more he watches her. He can't help how much he wants to flirt with her, it's like a need for oxygen; undeniable and insatiable. He can see the hesitation in her eyes. Before she could turn him down he opens his mouth, "How about you call your landlord and see if he can meet you, if he can you'll get out of dinner with me. If he can't…well you really have nowhere else to go now do you?"

He was right, she had nowhere to go unless she wanted to see her parents. Before she could stop herself her competitive nature bubbled to the surface. "You're on football head." She laughs as she pulls out her cell. Dialing Frank's number was second nature at this point, he loved her because rent was always paid and the apartment always quiet. It rang four times before he picked up sounding largely annoyed at a call from a tenant.

"What do you need?" His gruff voice nearly shouting into the phone. He wasn't the kind of man people thought of when they saw her building, he was far too down the docks for its elegance and appeal.

"Hey Frankie, its Helga. I'm home for a bit and I locked my keys inside my loft. I need you to swing by and let me in."

"Sorry, you'll have to wait until tomorrow doll face. I don't have time tonight." The smile falls from her face as her ears strain to catch the background noise on his end of the phone.

"You're fucking me Frank. I hear the TV in the background, you're not doing shit." She allows the anger to bubble in her veins. She paid him every month on time for the last two years. She was a model tenant when she was home. Besides, last week he was talking to her about letting her buy the damn loft completely like she did all of her other properties.

"If I was you'd already be inside wouldn't you?" That breaks her calm.

"Listen here you scum lord, that wouldn't happen even in your wildest dream. I pay you good money every God damned month, if I need to be let in because I locked my key inside for the first time in two years you'll get off your lazy ass and let me in. Got it?" She is shaking with anger, furry coursing through her like a bullet. Arnold steps forward and lays his hands softly on her shoulders his thumbs digging into the knots forming on her neck.

"I'll be by tomorrow morning, have a good night Ms. Pataki." The noise on the other end is cut off leaving nothing but silence.

"That piece of crap…" She turns and looks at him in complete disbelief. Never in a million years would she have predicted Frank blowing her off like that. A smile tugs on the corner of his lips much to her annoyance.

"Come on, we can get something to eat and you can blow off some steam."

"Great idea bucko, only problem, where the hell am I gonna sleep after you get me wasted?" He tilts his head to the left thinking, he hadn't gotten that far.

"You can stay at the Boarding House tonight. Grandma and Grandpa would love to see you and we have a couple spare rooms." Her throat tightened at the thought of staying with him, hadn't she spoken about boundaries this morning?

"Thanks but I'll book a hotel or something, I don't want to put them out. If I stay in the room it creates a whole mess of laundry for one night's sleep. Not worth it."

His head tilts again, this time the toe curling smile returns to his face. "You can stay in my room then." Her mouth pops open causing him to laugh heartily, "I have a couch in my room I can sleep on, you can have the bed. No extra laundry to worry about, no excuses." He takes her hand in his and begins walking down the street. "Now what way to booze and food?"

 _Should things heat up or should they simmer until they bubble over? The choice is yours. ;)_


	4. Chapter 4

He follows her into a low lit bar downtown. She swears up and down that the burgers are the best in the city and they have the largest beer selection this side of the river, not that he's really interested in drinking. He's still nursing last night's hangover, but she could use a little relaxer. In so many ways Helga hasn't changed a bit; she's sarcastic, defensive, and refuses to admit feelings unless they're anger or annoyance. He catches moments of her other side though, no matter how deeply she pushes it down they're drawn together like moths to a flame. He watches her walk straight to the bar and slide into an empty seat, attracting the bar tender over with a curl of her finger. She orders a whiskey on the rocks, top shelf and orders him a Profanity Hill Porter, swearing much like the burgers, that it's the best in the city. They sit in silence as the bartender gets their drinks. She avoids his gaze as he watches her face in the mirror behind the bar.

For how little she's changed in some ways, she's a new person in others. She's so confident ordering things, she knows who she is now and isn't afraid of people seeing it. She's layered, she's always been, but now he can see the subtle differences in them. Her confidence is infectious, she no longer acts tough to keep people out but because she is tough. She is calculated and incredibly smart yet is so blind to how men treat her. The bartender brings their drinks, ignoring him completely and looking only at her. She orders a burger with fries, not skimping on any of the toppings. He loves that about her, so many women order salads or something small, Helga has never been afraid to eat whatever she wants in front of anyone. She looks at him for the first time since sitting down, impatiently waiting for him to say something.

"Earth to football head," she stares into his eyes while waving a hand in front of his face, "did you invite me here to eat or to stare at me some more?"

He smiles broadly at her sarcasm and looks to the waiter, "I'll have whatever she's having." The waiter nods once, obviously annoyed that they were there together, and walks off.

"So what's going on in the head of yours that's keeping you so quiet?" She sips her whiskey slowly, savoring its burn and warmth.

"Honestly, about how much you've changed but at the same time you're still the same person I've always known."

Her eyes narrow slightly at him, her fingers grip her drink harder, "What's that supposed to mean? That you think I'm some immature little girl with an attitude problem still?"

His face falls, he really needs to work on delivering what he means without being so blind to what it sounds like. Too much time away from regular people has made him rusty. "Not at all! If anything you're more mature than anyone I've ever met, and I know hundred year old shamans." The anger slowly dissipates from her eyes, "It's more like you're still so sure of your decisions and you're really direct with what you want. You don't beat around the bush so to speak, you know what you want and you demand it. At the same time that's a huge change. As kids you had so much going on at home that, correct me if I'm wrong, you never really knew what you wanted."

"Nah, you're right," she swirls the ice around her drink before taking a long, slow sip, "I knew I wanted a better family and all that but that was about it. Everything else seemed like what I should want. The only other thing I knew I wanted was your affection and I was so scared of not being good enough for it that I made it impossible to get too close."

"Meanwhile I was positive you hated my guts and would have rather seen me in a ditch somewhere." His smile came back, remembering how much she yelled at him as kids was funny knowing how she really felt.

"I mean, there were moments you made me so mad I might have put you there myself, but at the end of the day all I really cared about was your happiness." Her hand rubbed the back of her neck, the conversation was getting deep and she doesn't know how to turn it around, or if she really wants to. Watching him sit across from her, sipping a beer she recommended, gazing at her and no one else was so nice. The raw pain she feels is pulsing in her chest, sure, but it was overwhelmed by something else.

"Helga, we need to talk about what happened in San Lorenzo. I can't keep pretending that it didn't happen. I know you worked through it in the books but I'm still trying to come to terms with it." The pain flares up into her throat, overriding the whiskey burn completely. Her thoughts fly back to that part of her life, memories she keeps locked in the black box of her mind opening up and unfolding around her.

They had finally found his parents after days of searching. They saved the Green Eyed People and he finally came to terms with how he felt for Helga. It was the happiest time in her life. When they kissed, although it was brief and cut short by Gerald, she felt all of the problems in the world melt away and fireworks erupt in her soul. She finally had him, the boy of her dreams, and he chose to stay thousands of miles away from her. Of course she understood that he wanted to be with his parents and she respected the decision it tore her heart out and crushed it. She returned home so broken and vulnerable something most people failed to notice. Sure, Phoebe saw through her act but beyond that no one cared. She stopped bullying everyone and became more closed off, quieter and let herself get lost in writing. Her home life got worse when she returned, Bob was off his rocker and was more emotionally unstable than ever before. Her mother was passed out drunk 16 hours of the day and spent the rest of the time trying to slip back into her self-induced comas. Helga began seeing Dr. Bliss on a weekly basis and it was her who encouraged Helga to publish her poetry under a pseudo name and save the money to move out when she turned eighteen. Once on her own, Helga began to write about her time in San Lorenzo creating a work of mostly fiction that gave her the ending she had wanted so desperately. Over time she moved on from Arnold, never healing but just allowing herself to bury the pain of his leaving her. She dated other people, she had been in love once and she was happy. No life wasn't perfect but she was happy. Now here he was, waltzing back into her life, and saying he was still hurt by what happened?

"You're kidding me right?" Her voice dripping venom, "there's nothing to talk about. We were kids, you stayed with your parents, we grew up and moved on."

His hands raise defensively in front of him, "Helga, I know this is painful and yea I stayed with them. You said we'd still try things though, that we'd write to each other and we'd try long distance. I was ready for that and you never wrote. For years I asked Gerald what you were doing, how you were doing, and I didn't stop until you started dating other people." He allowed the pain of her moving on to rise up from his heart. He knows how crazy he sounds but in all of these years his feelings hadn't changed for her. He didn't begin to date local girls until Helga was in a relationship. He didn't give up hope until then.

"What do you want me to say? My life wasn't exactly easy when I came home. Bob and Miriam were off their rockers, I was in therapy ever week, I was trying to move on because I knew as soon as someone caught your eye down there you'd end it and I wasn't going to wait around to get hurt."

"I didn't look at anyone until you got a boyfriend Helga. I didn't move on, you did." The realization slapped her across the face, stopping her from spitting out anymore cruel words. She began dating her freshman year of high school, four years after she got home. For four years she had pictured him with some gorgeous jungle girl and all the while he was alone, waiting for her letters.

"Why didn't you write?" Her voice trembles, she had been angry and hurt for so long over her own mistakes.

"I did, lots of letters, but all of them were sent back to me. I know I had the address right, I had Gerald check for me, but they all came back. I eventually assumed you just didn't want to talk to me so I stopped."

Her mind races back through time trying to remember if she ever said anything to make anyone keep them from her. Nothing came up. "I'm sorry Arnold, all these years I assumed you moved on and meanwhile I hurt you…"

His hand reaches across the table and holds her, "Don't blame yourself Helga. If were 100% honest with each other it probably wouldn't have worked over a long distance but I think we both needed to know what really happened to the other. I told you this morning I know how I feel about you but you're right, we barely know each other anymore. I want to know you Helga, I want to know everything about you and I know this is going to be weird, it's weird for me too, but I feel like if we don't at least try we'll make another mistake and this time I don't think we'd be able to find an excuse to try again. What do you say? We can start as friends and see where things go." He watches her eyes drift around the bar, his stomach is in knots. She smiles at him, a small smile that just reaches her eyes.

"Fine, football head, we can be friends. But, if were friends, know if I finish first I will devour your fries." Her smile fills him with a nervous excitement. The food is placed in front of them as well as fresh drinks. He takes a bite of the burger and can't help the moan that escapes his lips. "I told you, best in the city."

They eat in relative silence, enjoying the food and drinks. Her taste was fantastic, something he never doubted for a second. As promised she eats fries off his plate when he isn't looking and smiles unapologetically when he does catch her. They finish relatively quickly and get another round of drinks. The chatter slowly returns to them as the alcohol pumps liquid courage through their veins.

"Tell me about life after I left, I know the over view but fill me in on the details." He leaned toward her touching her arm gently, little stabs of electricity coursing through her.

"There really isn't much to tell you, I came home and locked myself in my room for weeks. I left to go to school and that was about it. Phoebe came by often but I didn't try with anyone else, I didn't want to let anyone in. When I got home Miriam was off her rocker with the drinking, she spent all but eight hours of the day passed out and when she was awake she was drinking. Bob's business was failing, beepers were old news, and he took that out on me, like I caused the invention of cell phones. Half the time he didn't acknowledge me and the other half I was shoved up against a wall with him bellowing in my face what a worthless piece of crap I was and how I would never amount to anything. Olga stopped coming around as much, she had a perfect life to live and barely had time for us anymore which made them both worse. She was the only thing keeping them sane. I started seeing Bliss weekly because I wasn't eating and my hair was starting to fall out. Before you get all guilty, it really wasn't because you chose to stay, at least not consciously. You were the sunshine for me, the ray of ever living positivity that reminded me it's not all bad, I didn't do it on purpose everything just kind of lost appeal. Bliss and I worked on that though, she showed me I could be my own sunshine, that my writing and view of the world was special and should be shared. With her and Phoebe for support I submitted some poetry to some publishers and one of them liked it and had me submit more. I saved every penny I made in an account my parents didn't know existed. Through middle school I got to know myself better and started coming back to the real world. Phoebe and Gerald were a package deal so we all started hanging out, the rest of the gang slowly joining until we hit high school. They tried to talk to me about you a few times but as soon as I heard your name I'd shut off. I spent a lot of nights picturing you with someone else and I didn't want to go back down that road."

"I'm so sorry Helga, I never thought that my decision would hurt you so badly…" His head hangs low, his hand turning the bottle of beer over and over before draining it and signaling for another round. She touches his arm softly rubbing it with feather strokes.

"Don't worry about it, it was me not you." She sips her whiskey before continuing, "By high school I found my own as a writer. I was always walking around with a laptop, jotting down anything that came to mind. It was addictive, like crack but without any of the side effects. My bank account was getting large and I felt recognized for once in my life without ever having to reveal my real name. I started dating a guy who went to PS 119. I never really felt anything for him but it felt like what I was supposed to do, ya know? He was into video games so we'd hang out at his house and he'd play while I wrote. He never knew what I was writing but he knew it meant more to me than he did. After six months he dumped me because I was "neglectful". I barely even noticed." Her lips curl into a smile, remembering how passionate her writing was gave her twinges on giddy even now. "I started serial dating, Phoebe and Gerald had no shortage of people to set me up with. It never meant anything though, I didn't want to stop working. I started having sex in my senior year, it felt good but only on a physical level. As much as I write about the passion of sex I really think it only exists in books. Once I graduated I bought my first apartment outright and moved on my own. I went to college for a semester before I realized it was stopping me from really doing what I wanted so I dropped out and started writing full time. After the first book sold took off I was contracted for another four and had more money than I knew what to do with. I bought places all over because real estate is a good investment. San Lorenzo for inspiration, LA for business when a motion picture deal was brought up, Rome for romance, a new place here for Phoebe and Gerald could have somewhere for themselves, Hawaii for my mental health, and London because, why not? I met a guy in London who I actually dated for two years and we were talking about marriage when I had a panic attack and realized I didn't love him. We split up and I've been single ever since." She sips her refilled glass and smiles waits for his response.

"Do you still dance?" His eyes focus on her, concentrated, watching for something.

"Yea, sometimes. It's more of a form of release now than anything else."

He smiles his famous half smirk and exhales in relief, "I was going to be really upset if you didn't, it was one of my favorite things about you." Her cheeks turn crimson at the thought of him watching her dance.

"Well, it's your turn now." A wicked look crosses her eyes as she smiles at him expectantly. He knows he should cut her off, she's on her fourth whiskey but seeing her walls come down was fascinating, another one wouldn't hurt would it? He'd see how much she drank while he spoke and would decide from there.

"Oh god, you sure you want to hear it all?" She nodded, sticking her pinky in her drink before placing it into her mouth. To most it would be such a sexual position but Arnold could only remember her doing the same thing with ice cream sodas. "Once everyone left my parents and I got settled in and we caught up on nine years of memories. They introduced me to the friends they made and taught me jungle rules as well as basic school things. Until I was eighteen I traveled with them, learning everything I could about the Green Eyed People, herbal medicine, and the insane cultures we never get to experience in cities like this. Once I was a high school graduate I convinced them to let me strike out on my own and explore the rest of the world. Since you shared your dating with me I guess it's only far to tell you about my only girlfriend. She was a member of the Green Eyes, her name was Sayda. We met when I was eleven but we didn't begin dating until we were fifteen. She was a sweet girl, smart and kind and we dated until I was eighteen. I knew we weren't right for each other but I loved her in a lot of ways, she was exactly the type of girl I should have wanted but she was missing something. She was a yes person she had no passion, no fire. I had been so used to your spirit that she seemed like a wet blanket. When I decided to leave and she wanted to stay we broke it off. She's still close to my parents and were good friends but she knew too, it wasn't right. She was my first but I agree with you on the whole lack of feeling anything outside of physical pleasure. After that I started online college and began traveling, working odd jobs in whatever community I was in until I could afford enough to move on. I hit every continent twice, I saw so many kinds of people and learned so much than I would have in a class room. I'd still be traveling if it weren't for Grandpa's surgery."

"Do you miss it?" Her drink was empty again and the bartender was bringing her a new one, how often did she drink like this? She was tipsy, he could tell by her speech and how freely she touched him now, but not drunk. That much whisky would have him on his ass for a few days at least.

"Uhm yea…after this drink do you want to get going? It's getting kind of late…"

"Don't be a killjoy Arnoldo, you may not be good with alcohol but I can handle myself." He sighs in defeat, once her mind was made there was no changing it. They spend the next two hours talking aimlessly, Helga drinks slower much to his delight. He tells her about the girls he's slept with, three in total his whole life, how dirty he felt after and his vow to not do it again until it's the right person. She teases him but understands his stance, it's the same one she secretly harbors. They finish up their final drinks and stand from the bar, both getting hit with the amount of liquid courage they consumed. She takes his arm, slightly unsteady on her feet. It's been six months since she drank this much and last time was in the comfort of her apartment after a bad review. He is grateful for her touch, anchoring him to reality. They were both flirty when tipsy, a dangerous combination. As Helga hails a cab he lets his fingers wander up and down her arms. They settle in the cab and she lays her head on his shoulder, her warm breath blowing onto his neck sending chills through his soul. The barely talk on the ride to Sunset Arms, opting to slowly and softly touch one another's hands instead.

They sneak wordlessly into Arnold's room, Helga never letting go of his hand. Once in the room they exhale a sigh of relief and she presses her body against the door. He looks down at her as she pulls him closer. They lock eyes…her crystal blues sending shudders down his spine…his jungle greens seeing into her soul, into her hopes and dreams. Before either can stop it their lips are moving closer, breathes intermingled sending them both to another dimension before they meet and the world stops spinning. Electricity flows through Helga with frightening speed, every hair on her body is standing straight, her hands move up his shoulders and lock onto the back of his neck, rubbing softly and pulling him closer to her. Arnold allows her to move him, control him, his hands settle onto her perfect waist, heat coursing through his veins and fireworks clouding his mind. Her lifts her onto her toes and leads them to the bed. Neither can stop what's happening and neither really wants too. It feels so right having his lips on hers, so right when his fingers slide under the fabric of her shirt. She lets him touch her and for the first time in her life allows someone else to remove her shirt. She doesn't want control from him, she wants to let whatever happens happen. Sure somewhere deep down she knew she'd regret this later but for the moment, as his shirt pulled off his body exposing a work of art hidden under his tee, she didn't give a damn.

 _Thank you so much everyone for your reviews, you have no idea how much they mean to me! I really wanted to take this chapter to get to know where these two have been at, it will get elaborated on more later but for now I wanted to show them as individuals who have had lives outside of one another. That being said it is a guilty pleasure to write them as one_. _I don't want to rush their new friendship but they are both adults. Let's see where they end up, shall we?_


	5. Chapter 5

Helga wakes up lazily stretching her body out. Her head is pounding and her throat feels like someone stuffed cotton in it. She turns over, opening her eyes for the first time and gasps. Next to her was a half-naked angel fallen to Earth and landed next to her in bed. She quickly lifts the sheet, they're still wearing pants, thank god. Her shirt is missing, bra on but straps down her shoulders. She sits up, trying not to wake him up, and crawls out from under the covers. She sneaks wordlessly across the room to where her shirt was thrown.

"Hey beautiful, sneaking off?" She nearly jumps out of her skin, how the hell didn't she hear him wake up? She turns, crossing her arms over her chest, he rubs the sleep out of her eyes and smiles at her, turning over from his stomach onto is back. He opens his arms up, an offer unspoken yet lingering.

"Do…do you know exactly what happened last night? I don't remember much once we left the bar, I remember bits and pieces but overall, it's a little blurry." The blush creeps through her cheeks, it's been a long time since she's been in this position.

His smile falls and he racks his brain for answers to her questions. "We drank way too much, I know that for sure. I remember coming back here and kissing you. I think the most we did was make out though, both our pants are still on and so is your bra." He leans up on his forearms, head suddenly pounding with the exertion. Seeing his chest and neck clearly for the first time brings her hand to her mouth stifling laughter.

"It looks like I may have done more than just kiss you." Her laughter is near impossible to control. He looks down his body to see the damage her mouth inflicted. Several purple bruises went down his chest stopping at this stomach. His mouth twitches at the corners as he throws the covers off and crosses the room to the mirror his grandma had hung on the wall years ago. His neck and shoulders had the same matching spots, he looked like he was attacked by a vacuum cleaner. "I'm sorry Arnold, it's just, you look like a leopard or something." Her laughter charging the air with electricity.

He crossed the room and lifted the hair from her neck and chest, secretly hoping they matched to end her laughter. He is rewarded with several of his marks on her, causing amusement of his own to fill the air, "Well Helga, looks like I'm not the only one."

She pulls away and rushes to the mirror cursing at him with each step. She pulls her hair back and sees a line of bruises from her ear down her neck that follows the hollow of her throat. He seemingly left her chest intact but she can't wear her hair up for a few days at least. "You're dead football head, dead." She threatens, the smile on her face leaveing him less than intimidated.

"Oh come on, like it's not funny. What happened to 'just friends' Helga? Seems like last night was a bit more than just friends, at least any friends I've had."

"You're the one who carried me to your bed! Don't try to place the blame on me for you taking advantage of a drunk friend."

His smile made her swoon, "Oh, is that what happened? If I remember correctly, and you've already admitted you don't completely, I seem to recall a certain blonde siren pulling me into a kiss and taking advantage of 'the light weight'," He air quotes.

"Blonde siren? You're still drunk," she pulls her shirt over her head, "how can we trust anything you say intoxicated?"

He laughs and rolls his eyes at her, "Believe me I'm past being drunk, it feels like a Mac truck hits me, backed up, and did it again."

"Ah….the illusive hang over," Her smile growing ever wider, "looks like were on the same page then bucko. I'll tell you what, since I cost you an arm and a leg last night in whisky, let's go to the diner my treat. Greasy food cures anything." He nods excitedly grabbing his clothes from last night and throwing them on.

"What," He notices her wrinkled nose, "I didn't think you'd want to be the only one in old clothes." He reaches his hand out to her and leads her down the stairs. They make their way wordlessly through the halls of the boarding house. Just as they reach the door they are stopped by the sound of Gertie in the kitchen.

"Eleanor! Kimba, why didn't you tell me Eleanor was here? It's been ages since I've seen her." Gertie pulls Helga into a bone breaking hug, much to her surprise. Arnold smiles sheepishly while rubbing his neck. "Dear, come in and sit down. We'll have a cup of tea and you can tell me all about your work since we last sat."

"Grandma, as much as I'm sure _Helga_ would love tea with you, we were just going to get breakfast." She glares at him and sighs letting Helga step back.

"Well Eleanor, tea will have to wait until next time. Don't be a stranger now, we have a lot to catch up on." Helga smiles at the old woman, and pulls her into a hug.

"I'll come by tomorrow evening, we can have tea and cookies and I'll tell you all about my work, okay?" Helga steps back from the hug and Gertie smiles widely, nodding her head in excitement. Arnold leads Helga out the door in awe of how she handled his grandma's insanity.

"How do you do that? Most people treat her like a loon." She leads him down the street toward their elementary school.

"Do what? I treat her like a person. So she insists my name is Eleanor, big deal. She's been doing that for as long as I can remember. When you decided not to come home I stopped by a few times to check on things. The first time wasn't really on purpose, I was walking by when she grabbed my wrist and invited me to tea. It's been a while since I visited but tea and cookies is our thing. She gets to talk and let everything out without anyone judging her. Your grandma has the best view on the world I've ever heard, talking with her is like putting on a pair of those reality altering glasses and walking around for a few hours." She shrugs and smiles to herself. When Arnold didn't come home it was hard on his grandparents, harder than they'd ever dare admit to him.

She remembers how they invited her in the first time… she was walking home from PS 118 and was meandering in front of the old building. Phil saw her first and called Gertie over to the window, she recognized Helga immediately and called for her to stop. While Helga turned in circles looking for the source of the noise, Gertie sprinted down stairs and ran out the front door, attacking Helga in a hug and pulling her inside for tea, insisting 'Eleanor' not be shy. Phil smiled apologetically but it seemed he wasn't going to break the illusion for his wife and she decided neither would she. It was awkward at first, incredibly so, she was in his childhood home while he was thousands of miles away in the jungles. Gertie asked her so many questions about herself, it was the first time they had a real conversation, Helga was quickly one over by the elder's fire and quick wit. Tea and cookies became a weekly habit much like her visits to Dr. Bliss, she saw the joy it gave and even though she felt lost and alone in the world she couldn't deny the old woman happiness. Once she moved the dates became monthly, the whenever she was around. She wasn't avoiding Gertie and Phil on purpose, life had lead her down its path and it was simply not in her cards to see them. She always remembered the lessons she learned there, which is why her mornings started with a warm cup of tea and why she knew how many officers it took to unchain someone from a tree. Helga smiles again, coming back to her reality.

They round the corner, picking up speed as they see the diner. Arnold's mouth is salivating, the pounding in his head almost too much to handle. They reach the corner, breaking out in a near run, and breathlessly rush into the small establishment. The few patrons turn their attention to the now blushing young adults, they smile at the older woman in her fifties style dress and apron and take a seat in the booth farthest from the door.

"What can I get you kids?" She grumbles, a fake smile etched on her lips.

"Hi! Can I get a water, some tea, an apple juice and a breakfast sampler? Extra bacon and whole wheat toast." Helga smiles, putting her menu down and looking up at the tired waitress who smacks her gum while nodding.

"For you toots?" She nods to Arnold, blowing a bubble and letting it pop.

"Can I get the same, except swap the tea for coffee?" She nods once and lazily walks away, shouting the order to the cook in the back.

Helga's eyes light with amusement, "Can't pick out your own food football head?"

"What can I say, you have good taste." He smiles back at her.

They spend the rest of their meal chatting casually about the weather, the flights home, all of the inconsequential details of their lives. They eat, enjoying every bite thoughtfully. The pain from their heads and throats slowly dulls until it is nothing but a memory. They all but lick the plates clean, smiling and laughing.

"Well, Arnoldo, this has been wonderful, but I need to get to my apartment. I still need to be let it."

"Let me walk you, it's the least I can do." He looks so happy, happier than he had been in years. Being around her was as natural as breathing, being away was uncomfortable as holding his breath under water. She was more animated than he could remember, the way her whole body would get involved in her stories makes him smile. Her moods and thoughts played across her face like a movie screen. She bits her lip, unsure if letting him would be a good idea. On one hand she loved the idea of him spending his time with her, talking and catching up, the other knew it was unhealthy to let him become her whole life so quickly and without pause. They weren't children anymore they were adults and they had responsibilities, kind of. Still, the glint in his eyes, the way his smile pulled up half his face, the other so entertained and expectant, she couldn't deny that.

"Alright football head, let's go. I have to call the slum lord on our way."

He walks behind her, half listening to her scream at her land lord. It feels natural with her, like sunshine on his skin or wind in his hair. She's passionate, fiery, everything his ex could never be. It was the desire that made him follow her, stuck in her gravitational pull with as little say as the moon. The logical side of him knows they are moving too fast, its day three and he could easily never leave her side again. On the other hand, they had no obligations in Hillwood besides the wedding. Of course they had respective families to look after but no jobs, no reason to really be apart. He watches with amazement the way she carries herself down the city streets. She is gorgeous, no one could deny that, but at the same time no one approached her, if anything they stepped away as she got close. She demands their attention and submission all without ever taking her attention away from her constant stream on insults directed at the unfortunate soul on the other end of the phone. Her hips sway from side to side hypnotically, her long legs carrying her at speeds he struggled to keep up with, not that he minded. He was fine allowing her to control the pace, in their walks and newly formed friendship. He feels the happiness surge through his veins as she huffs and hangs up the phone, slowing her walk slightly so he can catch up.

"Everything okay?" His concern for her makes her heart skip beats, it is so genuine and pure.

She pinches the bridge of her nose and sighs, "Yea, he's on his way over, just took more effort than I thought it would, or should." She smiles sarcastically, "at least I'll be able to take a warm shower." She sticks her tongue out at him, teasingly mocking him. His eyes take her face in, memorizing every line and curve. The way the loose pieces of her hair falls into her eyes, the spot where her brows creased when she was deep in thought, the soft curve of her nose and how it lead softly to her cheeks which were always slightly pink around him. Her jaw always set in rigid determination, the only time he ever saw it relaxed was when they kissed. Her eyes though, those are the only part of her he can never fully memorize. Maybe it's because the color only exists in those pools of fiery ice, or because every emotion that flashes through her shines through those windows. Or maybe the answer was very simple, if he was able to fully memorize their beauty, it would be one less reason for him to need to see her. He watches her roll those very eyes at his constant starring

They walk up the flights of stairs to her loft, meeting Frank at the door. He watches Arnold aggressively, Helga has never mentioned a boyfriend before. He lets them in, watching Arnold ever so carefully. Helga smiles at Frank, nodding once as a dismissal. He grunts a you're welcome as he walks back out, shutting the door behind him. He lingers in the hall, listening against the door as Helga excuses herself for a shower and he sits, probably on the couch, waiting for her. Frank did not like it, not one bit.

 _Gah! Sorry for the short chapter, I have so much I want to tell, so much the characters have to say but getting it from head to tablet isn't working well._

 _GirlWithTheBrokenSmileXox, thank you so much for your encouragement and kind words. If you are looking for another story that will have you admittedly checking your email for updates pop over to her story If We Had Been Together, its absolute genius!_

 _Thank everyone for the favorites and follows and reviews. I am so so thankful for the support._


	6. Chapter 6

_Hey guys! I normally talk directly to you after the chapter but I wanted to update you on a few things before you dig in. The pacing of the story from here on out is going to be different, the last five chapters have been a near second to second recap of Arnold and Helga and I don't think it's really serving anyone. There will still be tons of detail but I want to fit a little more time in each chapter, as of right now I'm on day three and I've been posting for fifteen days….to get to the wedding at this pace would take 1,825 days… not that I'm opposed to writing this story for a long haul but I think you would all hate me….there's only so many times my fluffy poetic metaphors are cute before their redundant, trust me. Some chapters my focus on certain days and cover a couple chapters but as a whole were going to pick up the pace. If you read this and it doesn't feel right to you please, please, please say something to me. Nothing will ever matter more than making sure this story is something you want to read. Also for the couple people confused on who Frank is, he is Helga's landlord. Think of your stereotypical sleazy greasy landlord, and you've got Frank. Beyond that enjoy!_

The rest of their Sunday is spent locked away in Helga's loft, watching the Evil Twin series and eating take out. The mood is comfortable, natural. Helga's legs thrown over Arnold's lap, his hands rubbing her neck and shoulders as they laugh at the gore on screen. The day drags slowly, mercifully allowing them to take in every moment together. By the time Arnold leaves the sky is an inky black and stars attempt to shine through the layers of smog. He kisses her cheek softly, holding her face in his hands, stroking the soft skin with his thumb. She slides down the door as he pulls it shut behind him, grasping the last spot his lips would touch her until they saw each other again, alone. He walks down the street, lightness in his steps that he never knew could be experienced. He couldn't wait to see her again tomorrow.

Phoebe collapses on the couch, Gerald following shortly behind her. His arms wrap around his bride to be, locking her in his grip. She wiggles, laughing and pulling away, unable to break out of his embrace.

"Gerald Martin, you let go of me right now!" Her shrieks of laughter failing to intimidate him. He buries his head into her side, his nose tickling her body. "It's been the longest week of my life, all I want to do is lay here and relax with my fiancé and you insist on tackling me."

"I'm sorry baby, I can't help how much I want to hold you and love you. Like you said, it's been one hell of a week. I don't know how you deal with my siblings without losing your marbles, they drive me up a wall. Then you wow both our parents during dinners and manage to whip our best friends into wedding planning machines. For such a tiny body you have one hell of a hold on people. I'm gonna blame Helga for that, you had to have learned that kind of control from that girl over the years." She sticks her tongue out at him while he pulls her in for a kiss. The warmth spreads through them slowly, like the burn of liquor but more intoxicating.

After several long, slow minutes they pull apart smiling. Gerald lessens his grip allowing her to turn and cuddle against him. Her head rests on his heart as she allows herself to get lost in the familiar beat. They stay like that, silent, for a long while. She is the one who caves in and breaks the silence.

"You've noticed them, right? The way their behaving around each other."

Gerald smiles and nods his head, "Even I'm not that blind, mama. They're wild about each other and they suck at hiding it. I wonder how many times I have to 'almost' catch them acting flirty or touching before they give up the act and tell us."

"Maybe they don't know what to tell, yet. It's been a week since we go engaged, a week they've had to catch up."

"Phoebe, baby, we both saw those bruises on their necks, and you think that's just coincidence?" Gerald leans up to look her.

She smiles and shakes her head, "No, I know their physical in some capacity, but at the same time I don't think I would be raising any bells if I were in their position, not until I knew myself where it was headed."

"Well, I wish they'd figure it out and tell us already, I can't keep pretending to be stupid for much longer. Arnold's always been a bold kid, but it's time to be a man."

"Patience Gerald, besides I have plenty for you to do to keep occupied until their ready." Her smile is wicked and playful rolling into one look Gerald knew far too well. He leans his lips down to hers, silencing any further conversation, and loses himself in her.

Helga rolls over to silence the blaring of her alarm before it completely deafens her. She rubs her eyes cursing at herself for leaving the phone so close to her head. Under normal circumstances she'd leave the stupid thing plugged in across the room on the kitchen counter, but this week has been anything but normal. Maybe for some people staying up all night texting some guy they spent the whole week with was normal but not Helga. She preferred her solitude and peace, waking up to the alarm going off across the room. She throws the covers off her body and slides out of bed, wandering to the kitchen for her cup of tea. Miriam expects her to be at her old house for breakfast, she doesn't want to disappoint her. She meanders around the loft, getting changed and brushing the sleep from her eyes. It's been six months since she saw her mother, she realizes as she pulls her hair up into its normal pony, six months since she looked into her mother's hollow eyes and promised to be back soon. It isn't that she doesn't love Miriam, although she wasn't totally there and had never been a great mother it wasn't her fault she was so mentally fucked up. If they really dug to the root of the issue it was Bob that caused her mother to turn to liquor in the first place, before they met Miriam was like Olga; smart, beautiful, ambitious.

"What happened to you Miriam?" She wonders aloud while gathering the last of her things and sprinting out the door. She's in such a rush that she doesn't see the body in front of her until it's too late to slow down. Unlike the normal body she crashes into this one is soft, sweaty, and smells faintly of old cigarettes and mold.

"Where you headed, princess, in a rush?" Frank smirks at her, making her stomach churn.

"Hey, um yea, going out. You're not normally here…is everything alright?" The only time Frank left his home was when a tenant complained obnoxiously. She dusts off her pants and fidgets with her hair, his gaze making her skin crawl. Until recently Frank and she were cordial, only ever speaking when she had questions and almost never face to face. He liked her because she paid rent on time but that never made him attempt to be personable before.

"Yea, just checking on my building. Have a good day, princess."

"You too Frank, and my name is Helga, not princess." She has never been a fan of pet names. He sneers at her as he walks down the hall, she feels an intense desire for a shower after speaking to him. She shakes her head and walks out of the building headed to her own personal hell.

"Miriam, where are you?" Helga shouts as she walks into the old drafty house. The blue wallpaper faded and peeling, the smell of rot and decay assaulting her nose. "It smells like hell in here Miriam, where are you?" She wanders through the house quietly, peaking in every room.

"She's not downstairs…" Helga mutters softly, almost afraid to make any more noise. The house is as silent as death, nothing but the shuffle of her steps to break its crushing oppression. She slowly roams up the stairs, counting the holes in the wall from Bob's fists. She just spoke to her mom on Thursday, reminding her that she would be coming over on Saturday to check on things and Miriam had to make sure Bob would be gone for the day. The smell that assaulted her nostrils downstairs grew stronger with every breath. Her head peaks in and out of the rooms finding them empty. She slows as she approaches her parents room, pulse skyrocketing and bile building up in her throat. The smell is unbearable.

"Miriam…"She whispers as she pushes the door open. Her eyes scan the room and immediately stop on the lump laying on the mattress. Helga's body begins to move on its own accord, her mind detaching and watching the scene from above. She begs silently for her mother to move, a breath, a twitch, anything. The smell is blinding as she walks to the side of the bed and begins to lift the cover. The person laying there has her mother's face but her mother was never green. Helga's hand slams over her mouth attempting to stop the vomit from spewing out. She turns running out of the room, not before noticing several empty bottles strewn on the floor. She pushes her legs to the limit, sprinting down the stairs and collapsing on the stoop. Sobs rip through her body involuntarily, she clutches at her chest shaking violently. Several people walking on the street stop and stare at her crumpled form. Only one approaches her, an older man who walks slowly, cautiously, as if he were approaching a wounded animal.

"Miss, are you ok?" He ventures timidly, extending his hand to her like you would a strange dog.

"Do I look okay?" She screams, venom in her words, "Call 911 please, someone, anyone, she's dead in there for god's sake!" The man pulls his hand away from her and looks to the small crowd forming around her stoop. A teenage girl pulls out her cell phone and dials for the police. The man and a woman no older than Helga help her to her feet as she sobs, her whole body racking in turmoil.

The police arrive within minutes, barging into her childhood home and exiting as quickly as she had. The sobbing stopped from sheer exhaustion but the emptiness it left her with cut her soul to the core. People speak to her, several police officers try asking her what happened, she never responds. Finally the girl her age comes and sits next to her, not speaking for several minutes. She looks familiar to Helga, a ghost from her past, too far back to know but still familiar.

"Do you have anyone you want me to call for you? You can't sit here by yourself all night." Helga raises her eyes to the girl and nods handing her the phone. "Who do you want me to call?"

"Um…I guess who ever I spoke to last, doesn't matter who I don't talk to that many people anyway." She mutters pulling her body back into a ball. Her head rests on her knees while the girl speaks to someone on the other end. Helga hears the girl reassure the person she won't leave until they get there. When she hangs up Helga looks back to her, racking her brain to where the girl is from, it's easier than talking to the police at any rate. "Thanks…I'm sorry, what's your name?"

"Gloria," She smiles slightly, not a smile of happiness but just one of politeness, "We went to school together back as kids. I dated your friend Stinky in fourth grade. I just moved came back from school."

"Oh, that's nice." Helga mumbles trying to remember the girl from her past. If she was thinking clearly this girl was the "anti-Helga", nice and popular. Whatever, Helga thinks to herself, right now she's the person making her phone calls. Helga dissolves into her own mind, remembering how sick Miriam sounded on the phone the other day, regretting not going over sooner. She shuts her eyes and rocks herself until a hand rests on her shoulder, pulling her back into reality. Her eyes open to see Gerald kneeling down in front of her, Phoebe is talking to the police a few feet away.

"Hey girl, were here now, it's okay." He helps her stand before she crashes into his chest, a fresh round of sobs breaking free. She let the tears flow freely as she feels a small hand rest on her back and a head rest on her shoulder blade. Phoebe's arms wrap around Helga's back and they stand this way for several long moments, silent except the sounds of Helga's cries. Helga pulls away from Gerald and Phoebe looking at them with broken eyes. She hears his running just before she is pulled into his arms, his lips pressed ear whispering frantic apologies.

"I'm so sorry I wasn't here faster Helga. Gerald called me while they were driving over. I ran as fast as I could, they wouldn't let me threw the police line at first. I'm so so sorry. I'm here now though, whatever you need I'm here." His words tumble out of his mouth faster than she can processes them. Her head rests on his chest, breathing ragged but under control. She had no tears left to give at the moment so she let him hold her, his tight embrace keeping the shards of her together.

An officer taps her shoulder and asks her to follow him, he had a few questions about exactly what happened. Arnold watches helplessly as they take her away from them and begin talking. Her skin is red and blotchy, hair falling into her face. She wraps her arms around her chest and speaks quietly, her vocal cords tender from crying. Phoebe places her hand softly on Arnold's shoulder, pulling his attention to them.

"We have to keep her away from Mr. Pataki, the police are animate that he knew she was gone, initial findings indicate she's been past for at least thirty six hours if not closer to forty eight. Unless he hasn't been home in that time there was no missing it. They have several officers looking for him now but knowing him as well as I do I suspect they won't find him for a while. He's bound to be completely irate at this point." The boys both nod their heads. Arnold's head is beginning to pound and he looks to her again, concern etched into his features. "Arnold, would you be able to have her stay with you for a few days? I don't want her being home alone and with work Gerald and I can't watch her as closely as I'd like. She doesn't speak much about it but Helga has struggled with alcohol in the past. She's stronger than her mother was but I don't want to see her binging on it and risking her going down that path." He nods again, still watching her every move. The moment the officer walks away he steps to approach her but is cut off by Phoebe. She pulls Helga into a hug, leading her to the group after a moment.

"Helga, you're going to stay with Arnold for a few days. We'll all go back to your apartment now and then go to the boarding house." Her mouth opens to argue the plan, "No arguing. Helga you are not staying by yourself right now. There is no way I'm allowing that, even if it means taking time off of work and sitting there with you day in and day out."

She shakes her head, "No, I'll be good and go stay with Arnold. It's not necessary but if it makes you feel better, I will. Can we go now? The police have my number if they have any more questions and I need to burn these clothes and take a shower."

Arnold reaches down and takes her hand as they walk to Gerald's car. The drive to her apartment is silent save the radio droning quietly. Helga scrambles out of the car as soon as they pull up to the curb.

"You all stay here, I need a few minutes alone. No offense Arnold but it'll be hard to find solitude at the boarding house and I just need like fifteen minutes to decompress. I want to get changed and pack some stuff and I'll be down." She sees the disapproval in all three faces, "time me, if I'm not down in fifteen come up and get me." Both boys look to Phoebe who nods once and looks at the time. Helga sighs gratefully and runs into the building.

She reaches her door in near record time and unlocks it quickly before slipping in. She sinks to the floor and lets a few more tears slide down her cheeks.

"Why the hell are you crying you stupid brat? When did you give a crap about anyone but yourself?" The voice drips with hatred. Helga's heart stops, she knows Bob's voice anywhere.

 _Hey guys! I wanted to say a quick thank you to GirlWithTheBrokenSmileXox for helping me with the chapter and her always honest and encouraging feedback. I won't lie this isn't where I saw the story headed when I mapped it out but this is what feels right for the characters. As someone who has a family member who has struggled with addiction I promise to do justice with this, death is inevitable but it is not senseless, at least not in my universe. Thank you everyone for the reviews and follows and favorites, they mean so much to me. As always feel free to reach out and tell me what you think, I look forward to reading it!_


	7. Chapter 7

She reaches her door in near record time and unlocks it quickly before slipping in. She sinks to the floor and lets a few more tears slide down her cheeks.

"Why the hell are you crying you stupid brat? When did you give a crap about anyone but yourself?" The voice drips with hatred. Helga's heart stops, she knows Bob's voice anywhere. "Get the hell off the ground kid, we've got business. And don't try screaming, that landlord of yours is bought off pretty easy."

Helga struggles to her feet, fear gripping her chest. She braces herself for the onslaught of abuse, knowing fear will only make it worse. The fear gets stuffed deep down replaced with anger. Anger that her sleaze of a landlord let this fucker in her home. Anger that he was here to begin with, that her mother was dead, that she was never good enough for him. So much anger and hurt fills her veins with fire, she steps forward, her rage fueling her to finally confront the biggest demon in her life.

"Who the hell are you to come into my home and tell me I'm selfish? Did I imagine my childhood? You were nothing but an abusive, work obsessed, ass. If it weren't for your constant insults Miriam would still be here!" He crosses the room in three steps and slams the back of his hand across her face, throwing her to the ground. She pulls in a breath and spits out the blood pooling in her mouth, there is a large gash from where her teeth bit through her cheek. "Big bad Bob, beating on a girl."

He kicks her ribs, a loud crack is followed by her screams. "Shut the fuck up you whore. You think I killed your mother? I was the best god damn thing to ever happen to her, she didn't take up drinking until you were born. You were a mistake Helga," He sneers her name, venom dripping with every word, "We wanted to abort you, we should have but Olga told us how badly she wanted a sister or brother and that was that." He kicks her again, "You don't think I know about your books? You're mother tried to hide them from me but god damn the minute she drank she loosened up and spilled everything."

She tries to crawl away as he drones on, she only has to last a few minutes then her friends will come upstairs. He grabs her leg ripping her back and slams his fist into her stomach causing her to spit up more blood. "You stupid whore. You have more money than you could ever spend and you let your mother and I live in that shithole? You leave us to rot?" He hits her again. "You think she was recovering all this time? The minute Olga stopped coming around and the business failed she was back to her old habits. Maybe if you weren't so selfish, she wouldn't have."

He winds back to kick her ribs and Helga slams her legs into his chest, pushing him backward and onto the floor. She scrambles away from him, blind fury over taking her. "What right do you have to call me a bad person? Let me recount some things to you Bob, I was a child when you made me fend for myself! I was three and walking myself to school for crying out loud. You never got my name right, never cared where I was, never cared if I ate or drank or was healthy. All you cared about was Olga and the fucking beepers! Leaving was the best thing I ever did in my life, I should have run away earlier!"

He leans onto his arms, sneering again. "Where would you go whore," she stops and stares at him forming a response to his idiotic questions, "you don't think I see you around town with that orphan boy? See you walking with him down the street, you think he really cares about you don't you? No one will ever care about you whore, you're worthless."

"You're wrong. I do care about her, and you, you're going to pay for what you've done here tonight." Arnold and Gerald grab Bob by the arms, jerking him up to his feet. Helga swings hard to his gut, taking several swings as she allows the anger to slide out in the form of wet hot tears. Phoebe grabs her friend's arms and Helga crumbles to the floor screaming.

"Get him out of here, the police will be here any second, bring him down to the lobby." The boys struggle but manage to drag Bob away as he screams obscenities at Helga. Phoebe lifts her from the floor and sits her at the table, leaving momentarily to get a cup of tea. She walks back and wraps her arms around Helga's body.

"It's not fucking fair Phoebe. I wasn't even close to her and I miss her. I feel like a fraud being so upset and then to have him show up here. I'm pretty sure I have broken ribs, why can't I just be happy?" She allows the emotions to seep out of her like sweat in a sauna. Phoebe stays silent, rubbing Helga's back and pushing the tea toward her. She drains the cup, allowing the hot liquid to scald her throat effectively numbing the pain from crying. "I still need to get changed, let me do that real quick before the police get here, Lord knows I'll be dealing with them for at least an hour." Phoebe nods once and grabs the empty cup from Helga's hands, bringing it over to the sink to wash while her friend wanders off.

She releases the breath she has been holding and grips the edges of the sink while it fills with searing soapy water. Phoebe wants to tell Helga she could be happy but at the moment that would be the worst thing to say. She admits Helga's life is…difficult but there has been some glorious moments between the pain. The first time Helga received a letter from a publisher or when she moved into her first apartment, both fill Phoebe with happiness and anxiety. Happiness was often short lived in Helga's life, it really wasn't fair.

"You okay, mama?" Gerald's voice causes her to jump back from the sink and out of her thoughts. The boys enter the loft flanked by two officers. The male unfamiliar, the woman looking concerned and angry.

"Patty! I didn't realize you were on the force in Hillwood." Phoebe crosses the room quickly and embraces her old classmate. Patty hugs back, her shy nature coming through in obvious discomfort of physical contact.

"Yea, I was two towns over but I decided to do some good at home, where the people I help are my friends and neighbors." She shrugs and looks around the room. "Speaking of which, where is Helga? We have to ask her some questions about what happened and see if she wants to file charges. Do you guys have any idea how he got in here?"

"My landlord let him in." A voice as cold and sharp as shards of ice echoes from the bathroom, Helga emerges dressed in sweat pants and a tank top. She cracks her knuckles and neck while approaching everyone. "There's not much to tell beyond that. I came in alone to get changed and he was already in here, said my landlord let him in, he starts yelling and then starts hitting me. We traded a few blows and then the cavalry came bursting in."

"Do you want an ambulance?" Patty crosses the room and holds Helga's face in her hand. "You have a lot of bruising under your left eye and the way your breathing I can almost promise broken ribs. Joe, call an ambulance."

Helga flies away from Patty shaking her head. "No ambulance, no hospital. I'm not going there, not after the day I've had."

"Helga, you could puncture a lung if the bone is broken. I'm not really in the mood to argue with you about this. You need to go." She reaches out to Helga as Arnold steps in between them.

"If I can promise Helga will be at the doctor's tomorrow morning will you let her skip the hospital tonight?" He raises his hands in half surrender.

"No, the doctor's office won't have an x-ray machine but if she promises to go to the hospital in the morning I'll let it drop but I will do a wellness check tomorrow night."

Everyone turns to Helga as she chews her lower lip. "Criminy, fine. I promise. God, I thought I was the victim here."

Patty smiled softly at her former friend, "You've never been a victim Helga, but we are here for you. You're just stubborn and need to be pushed to do what's best for you." Helga rolls her eyes and walks Phoebe's side. She rests her head softly on her best friend's and listens to Arnold and Patty quickly catch up. She is barely maintaining consciousness when she hears Patty asking for her attention. "Helga, do you want to press charges? He assaulted you at the minimum."

She shakes her head against Phoebe's, "No, he's not worth the paperwork. I know you're all going to tell me I should but it won't change Bob. He'll never admit that what he did, what he said, was wrong. It'll just give him more reason to try and attack me. I'd rather let it go, isn't he needed for questioning anyway? I can promise he'll do or say something that will land him behind bars for a few days. I don't want to be involved any more than I have to be already."

Patty nods and her partner jots some notes down before they say goodbye. Patty makes Helga promise call her tomorrow afternoon with news from the doctor and they leave in haste to get down to the station and see Bob get questioned. Gerald wraps his arms around Phoebe pulling her close to his chest and nuzzling his nose into her hair. All four are exhausted, the weight of the day weighing down like the earth on Atlas. He presses his lips into her hair as she allows her body to fully melt against him. Helga watches, jealousy and admiration bubbling up in her gut. If she is completely honest with herself, Gerald and Phoebe are the first functional relationship she's ever seen. They have always loved and supported one another even when others would have given up. When Phoebe got accepted to every school she applied too and received several offers to schools she didn't Gerald told everyone he came in contact with how smart his girlfriend was, there was no jealousy or insecurity just genuine excitement and adoration. When Gerald's career was failing and he was struggling to get by Phoebe made sure she went to every show, alone or with friends she laughed at every joke no matter how corny. When he finally found his comedy niche she was his number one supporter and encouraged him to dream bigger even if it meant being away from her for weeks at a time. He'd never leave her but the knowledge that if he needed too she'd support it made him that much more confident. Their relationship was everything Helga wants from her life and the basis of a lot of the love in her novels. A smile crosses her lips as she watches them interact with one another. She is completely lost in her mind when Arnold rests his hand on her shoulder. Her breathing catches in her throat, his presence was all but forgotten for a brief moment.

"What else do you need tonight? You need some sleep." He speaks to her softly, his deep rooted care palatable in the air between them.

"I'm good. I just wanted some clothes honestly. We can get going, I really don't want to be in here anymore anyway."

He leads her out the door and to the car allowing Phoebe and Gerald to lock up the apartment. Helga settles into the back seat, breathing for what feels like the first time since leaving the car to begin with. The pain that had dulled from adrenaline and anger was now pulsing in her chest. Her mother is dead, father in custody, sister nowhere to be found. She pulls her legs to her chest feeling her heart ache loudly. As she sits in silence she thinks about why she is so hurt. She loved Miriam, lf course she did, but she wouldn't miss the constant wondering and worry. If anything Miriam being gone would let her stay away longer, she'd never have to return here unless to see Phoebe and Gerald and she was always welcome on their couch. The thought of sleeping in the loft makes her skin crawl as images of Bob's snarling face flashed in her mind. She stares out the window as her eyes grow heavy, mind replaying finding Miriam over and over again behind her eyes.

 _Hey! I am so so so sorry this took so long to update…I started a new job this week and my body is having some difficulty keeping up. Updates will become weekly as I get used to a new schedule but I promise if it's more than seven days someone can kick my butt! Thank you as always to my wonderful and talented new best friend GirlWithTheBrokenSmileXox for being my sounding board and inspiration. If you haven't already read If We Had Been Together you absolutely have to do it tonight, you will thank me! Beyond that thank you for the constant support and kind words. This story is about to hit some rough waters, let's see if our two favorite people can stay afloat…_


	8. Chapter 8

The street lights of the city illuminate her face for a moment at a time before snuffing out into darkness. She is curled up against the door, face contorted and lips trembling. Arnold doesn't know her exact dreams but he can absolutely speculate. He uses every ounce of self-control to not reach out and pull her into his arms. Phoebe and Gerald are conversing in muted voices about what to do with Helga. He doesn't understand them, Helga has always been so tough and strong, sure she would need some help but she would be okay from this. He knows it in his bones. They travel the empty streets as Arnold lets his mind drift from the sleeping angel to the demon who hurt left a deep purple bruise under her eye. His blood boils as he recalls fighting with Gerald that something wasn't right. They called him paranoid as he slammed the car door and went after her after only five minutes, Gerald raced after him knowing if Helga wanted to be alone she was better off that way, at least for a few minutes. Arnold couldn't explain the feeling in his gut to them, the pure sickness and dread that coursed through his body the second he lost sight of her. He had raced up the halls of her building, Gerald on his tail and Phoebe not far behind. He heard Bob long before he got to the door, several neighbors were standing just outside the safety of their homes listening like it was some kind of soap opera. Arnold clenches and releases his fists several times as Bob's words echo in his ears.

" _Where would you go whore?_ _You don't think I see you around town with that orphan boy? See you walking with him down the street, you think he really cares about you don't you? No one will ever care about you whore, you're worthless."_

He slammed the door open, nearly splintering the wood. Bob's back was to him, sprawled out on the floor, Gerald half pushed him into the room as they grabbed onto Bob's arms yanking him to his feet. The man smelt like cheap perfume and body odor. Arnold didn't care at that moment, all he cared about was her.

Helga had looked so strong and determined, she was standing defiantly, pure fire and hatred pouring from her eyes. He knew that fire so well, its heat licking the bottom of his soul propelling his anger further as well. Beneath the steel and guts though was pain, the way her lip quivered was the only indication but it was all Arnold needed. She was hurting, not just from physical wounds but from deeply infected emotional trauma she let fester for years. His heart broke when she crumpled to the floor, he had never seen so much pain exist in a single person. Walking Bob downstairs he laughed at the pain he caused Helga, his deep chortle echoing off the hollow walls. The police burst through the door as soon as they got downstairs and dragged Bob out leaving Arnold and Gerald with Patty and her partner.

"Man, we need to talk about what comes next. Helga is gonna need constant supervision for a while. Phoebe already text Bliss and set up to have her go by the boarding house tomorrow night but this isn't gonna be a one appointment and done thing." Gerald and Arnold met eyes through the rear view mirror. Phoebe shifts in her seat to face him. Their eyes are straining, worry painting their faces under a mask of discomfort.

"Arnold, there's something we have to tell you and it's not something we really have a right too. It's really something Helga should speak about but due to today's happenings we have no choice but to inform you ourselves." She is tense, her ever constant calm eroded away and replaced with panic. He feels the tension in the air and gulps on his breath. His eyes wander over Helga again, her body still but her face alive with emotion. "Arnold, you need to watch and make sure she stays away from liquor. She has a penchant for whisky and bourbon, especially when she's upset. Helga is very much spirited and passionate but when that passion gives way to feelings of loneliness and depression she takes on some characteristics of Miriam."

Arnold's mouth falls open, his eyes shooting back to his sleeping beauty, why would she turn into such a disgusting and life ruining vice?

"Man, I know it's a lot to take in. Phoebe and I didn't know until her last book came out. There were three, maybe four, negative reviews in the whole lot but that's what she focused on. Phoebe started getting strange voicemails from Helga, drunk ramblings. We took a plane to LA and found her asleep on the kitchen floor surrounded by empty bottles."

"I called her agent who told me this as normal behavior and that she would be fine in a few weeks. Apparently any bad reviews sent Helga into spirals, she pours so much of her heart and soul into her books. She's been in a support group since. It's been going well too, she hasn't had a relapse since starting the program but this, and this is going to be too much."

He shakes his head in disbelief, they must be confused, Helga is strong, and she'd never break down like that. "Guys, this is Helga we're talking about. She's tougher than anyone I'd ever met and I know a lot of people."

"I'm sorry, were you here the last fourteen years watching Helga deal with the cracks in the foundation of her life? Did you see the nights spent sobbing and the complete mental breakdowns? Did you see when Bob beat her and she tried skipping town? Arnold, you don't know much about her at all and I'd kindly ask you to refrain from questioning Gerald and I in regards to what is best for her. If that will be the case I'm sure I can call in a few favors at work and stay with her myself." Arnold lowers his head to his hands, fingers crossing over one another rapidly. He knows when he is beat and once Phoebe makes a decision there is no changing her mind. He nods once, not bothering to look up to his friends as Phoebe shifts forward again. The rest of the ride is spent in silence, Phoebe furiously texting to someone on her phone, Gerald keeping his eyes forward, and Arnold rotating between playing with his fingers and watching the stranger across from him face demons in her dreams.

Helga feels her head jostle, bumping back and forth in a steady rhythm. Slowly the hushed voices around her penetrate through her clouds of sleep but do not form real sentences. The cool glass of the window has been replaced with something warms and firm, the hard seat transformed into two strong blocks supporting her body. Although she is tempted to open her eyes she resists, her mind pulling her back to the world she left behind. One where Miriam is alive and sober, Bob is dead, and she is finally happy. She feels the warm firmness replace with softness that she sinks into. Any temptation to return to the real world dashed as her mind pulls her under to fresh air and sunshine.

Helga is sitting at the kitchen table with her mother, they laugh over hot tea discussing their trip to Cancun two years ago.

"Helga, do you remember the pool boy? Please tell me you remember him."

Her lips tug up in the corners, "How could I forget? He nearly fell over when you finally told him how old you are! I think he would have been better off with forty six ghosts than you being forty six!"

"Hey, you be nice now, I happen to look thirty two, thank you very much missy." Their laughter fills the house as it often did when they got together. Miriam was clean for five years now, the two were thick as thieves. Miriam begins to bring up another old adventure when Helga's phone begins to ring. She smiles apologetically while grabbing for it in her bag. Miriam waves her hand for Helga to answer as she begins to gather their long empty mugs.

"Hello?" Her voice sings, she hears a low throaty chuckle from the other end. Her heart picks up slightly as she eyes the large diamond and emerald ring adorning her left hand.

"Cars out front, Ms. Pataki." He laughs freely now, hearing her annoyed huffing.

"I haven't been Ms. Pataki for three years now thank you. I'll be out in a minute, keep your pants on!" She struggles to stand while pressing the phone closer to her ear. Miriam rushes to her side and steadies Helga as her hands rest atop her swollen belly. The voice at the other end of the phone laughs louder now, bringing a blush to her cheeks.

"If I had done that we wouldn't be heading to the doctors now." She bites her lip and shushes him, rolling her eyes to her mother who beams proudly at her daughter. "Say bye to mom, give her a kiss for me and get your butt out here, we don't want to be late. I love you." The caller hangs up as Helga smiles.

Miriam pulls her into a tight hug, careful not to compress the large bump between them. "I love you Helga, and I'm so proud of you. Call me when you guys are all wrapped up at the doctors, I want to know everything." Both women's eyes begin to well up with tears as Helga walks out the front door of her childhood home and waddles to the old green car parked out front waiting patiently for her. Heaviness clings to her heart as she pulls the door shut and closes her eyes, surrounding herself in blackness.

Her body jerks awake, hands flying to her stomach and eyes wide open. She feels the flatness of her abdomen and sighs softly as her heart shatters in her chest. Breathing deeply Helga rubs her eyes before sitting up in the pitch black that surrounds her. Her phone lights up to her left. Another night with the stupid thing next to her head. Although the panic and pain in her chest want her to remain motionless she grabs her phone to see who has the need to text her this late. Several missed calls from her flighty and absent sister followed with forty three separate text messages all demanding her attention and reply. She chucks the phone across the room and huffs as it makes a loud thud against the wall. She lays against the headboard and takes in the room around her coming to the unsettling realization that she does not know it, in fact, she has no idea where she is period.

Her lips purse, she is desperately in need of a drink to dull the sharp stabbings of pain in her chest from a dream she'd much rather forget. She scuttles out of bed, pulling the comforter around her shoulders, and walks noiselessly to the door. She presses her ear against the smooth wood, listening for several long moments for signs of life, only removing it and continuing on her mission after she is certain the only noise she will encounter is that of the old building settling. She moves silently through the halls of what she recognizes as Arnold's home. Her stomach curls and her throat yearns for the burn and relief of whiskey. The comforter wraps tighter around her as she approaches the kitchen, lit up like a Christmas tree with someone occupying it.

Helga freezes, unsure if she should continue to her numbing vice or retreat to the relative safety of the strange bedroom. Images of Miriam's beaming face in her dream push her to the light, a physical representation of her closeness to her own salvation.

He sits with his back to the entry of the room but hears her unsure shuffling clear as day. It was four am, he has been sitting here for three hours unable to convince himself that she wouldn't come down and look for trouble. He stares into his cup of tea, something he drank often since she admitted a love for it, willing her to turn around and go back to bed. The air lights with electricity as she enters the room, a tangible feeling that engulfs him in nerves. She walks past him, focused so much on her salvation that she does not notice the football headed guardian of the kitchen. Her eyes scan the walls of shelves looking for an indication of liquor, so lost in her mind that his cough causes her to jump. She turns, guilt spills across her cheeks in a red glow. He is sitting shirtless with flannel pants, spinning his finger in a cup of tea. His eyes study her face with so much intensity that her throat squeezes shut.

"Oh, uh, hey football head," she forces a chuckle, "didn't see you there." His eyes normally so vibrant darken to a dark forest green, "Didn't your parents ever teach you not to scare a distracted woman?" Her humor is forced, awkward silence fills the air as her keeps his eyes glued to her face, and she rubs her cheek avoiding his gaze, eyes subtly darting around the room at the shelves behind him.

"Helga, what are you doing down here so late?" His tone is flat, disappointment clinging to every word. She shuffles uncomfortably and gulps. Her fidgets distract him momentarily before his gaze fixes on her eyes.

"I can ask the same of you you know… I was thirsty and came down for a quick drink, is that so bad?" Her voice quivers as she finds salvation just outside of the room in a glass front cabinet just in view. Her body involuntarily steps toward it, the ache in her heart raw and pulsing. Arnold shoots out of his chair, blocking her view. Her throat burns for the comfort and heat she knows so well. His arms reach out as he blurs, her vision wet.

"Helga, you came down here for more than just a drink. I'm here, in front of you, talk to me. What's going on in your head?" His hands reach out to comfort her she flies back away from him, fearing contact will rip the wound further. Her pulse picks up as her eyes spill over. Her breathing becomes ragged as the tears flow as the images of her mother, both real and from her dreams, flash before her, contradicting each other quicker than she can process. Her stomach turns violently, nausea building as her fingers grip the blanket tighter. Although her ears register Arnold calling her name she is paralyzed, she begins shaking, oxygen no longer reaching her lungs. Miriam dead face and lifeless eyes burn into her brain, working its way into deeper layers like a worm. The pain in her chest grows with every passing breath the hollow hurt reaching insurmountable measures.

Arnold watches motionlessly as Helga snaps, tears run down her face from her blank eyes. She may be standing just outside of his grasp but her mind is millions of miles away. Her breathing hitches as her heart breaks, finally processing the gravity of the situation. Arnold stays perfectly still and counts to ten, waiting for her to do or say something.

"Helga…" His hand warps around her wrist causing her head to turn to him wildly. He slowly pulls her into his arms, cautiously hugging her frozen figure. A sob catches in her throat as he nuzzles his head into her hair pulling her body tightly against his. His heart thumps wildly having her so close and having her so broken. For several long moments she does not move, she stands still as a statue as he rubs her back and whispers into the top of her head. "Let it out." His voice soft but firm is enough to push her over a ledge she has stood at for far too long. She clutches him suddenly, her face digs deeply into his neck as her body releases all of the pain and tension. For forty five minutes she wails until her sobs become hiccups and her eyes grow heavy. Her body sways softly, his lips still pressed firmly to her hair. Arnold picks her up, normally she would fight but she knows she is too weak, too tired. He looks down at her as he easily carries her up the stairs, her face obscured with blonde strands. She looks so gentle and small in his arms, the girl who he always knew was lurking beneath the surface finally exposed raw.

He carries her into his room, knowing leaving her would mean waking up to her downstairs. He places her softly on his bed, tucking blankets around her and kissing her forehead.

"Stay…" Her feeble voice whispers. He bites his lower lip as she reaches out for him. "Please…don't leave me alone…I hate the nightmares."

"Whatever you say Helga." His voice full of concern and understanding. He pulls the covers back and crawls in next to her. She turns her back to him while pressing to him, his arm wraps over her side while the settle into the mattress. She shuts her eyes, drifting into a dreamless sleep as he watches her silently until the rays of the sun begin to rise above the horizon promising a new day and a new beginning.

 _Hey guys! Thank you so much for the kind words and for reading in general. Life has been kind of crazy the last few weeks. Thank you so so so much GirlWithABrokenSmileXox, Vanessa you are one of my dearest friends and my favorite writer to read. If anyone is looking for a phenomenal story with developed characters and a fantastic plot, give her a read. She is not only grossly talented but also the best friend anyone can ever ask for and I am so grateful for her advice, support, and love. I will try to update timelier going forward and any and all reviews are my inspiration to keep going quickly._


	9. Chapter 9

His eyes squeeze shut, arms stretching out to pull her closer, in an attempt to chase consciousness away for another few hours. His hands fall, unable to find the warmth of her body, and his eyes snap open. He sits up, panic building in his chest as he scans the room for her. Finding himself alone he throws the covers off and begins bounding down the stairs two at a time until he is washed in the dull glow of light from the kitchen. She is sitting with her back to him, golden hair cascading down her spine. His steps slow, desperate not to startle her, as he walks to the chair beside her. Her hands are tightly wrapped around a short fat glass filled halfway with an amber elixir, her personal potion to forget the world around her.

"Did you have another nightmare?" He prods her gently, one hand reaching for her glass as the other rests on her shoulder. She nods silently and allows him to take her drink. He studies the glass as slyly as possible noting although it is only half filled there doesn't seem to be any drunk. Her eyes are red rimmed, something that has become normal in the past few weeks, her skin sallow and dull. She looks to him as his hand begins to knead her shoulder softly, the ice blue of her eyes now murky and foreign to him. "Was it the same one you've been having?" Her lips quiver slightly as she shakes her head again, eyes searching desperately into his for an answer as to why her mind is haunted by her dead mother who spits words as painful as venom. He opens his arms as she moves from her chair into his lap, head nuzzling into the curve of his neck.

"I just want it to stop, I just want one good night's sleep without her hounding me and telling me how worthless I am." Her voice is horse, sounding much more like Deep Voice than herself. He strokes her hair gently, beginning to rock her like a small child. He watches her slowly drift off to sleep before carrying her back up to his room. His heart speeds up at the sight of her in his arms, crossing the boarding house to his bed, where she has taken up residence since unofficially moving in.

His mind plays back the days after her mother passing and her father's outburst. The morning after he stayed up through the night watching her sleep she awoke at panicked. He spent an hour calming her down and convincing her not to leave town that very afternoon. He drew her a bath and left her to rest while he made phone calls to Phoebe and Gerald. It was agreed that she should move out of the apartment and into somewhere new, the sooner the better. When he brought it up to her she agreed immediately, asking if she could stay in the boarding house until she had time to get herself a new place. That day they cleaned out her apartment and moved most of her things into a spare room at the boarding house and storing the rest of her furniture in a storage center a few blocks away from Gerald and Phoebe. That night she slept in his bed again after nightmares drew her downstairs. For a week Arnold had to lock the door, knowing the noise of it opening would wake him and allow him to stop her from sneaking out. Although she has filled many glasses with her poison she surprised him by never drinking a sip, opting instead to squeeze it tightly until he found her. She also surprised him by how close she allowed him to get . He fell asleep with her hair tickling his nose every night. Phoebe helped her plan the funeral within days and kept Helga from fleeing often. Every weekend Helga spent with her as they began to design the wedding, creating plans while Gerald and Arnold spoke at length of Helga's ever growing depression. Although she was still gorgeous she began to show signs of emotional deterioration, her weight dropping because she couldn't stomach food, her skin, hair, and eyes growing dull from lack of sleep. She wasn't speaking much or living in general, choosing to simply exist for now.

He lays her in bed and crawls in next to her, pulling the sheets over them and wrapping his arms around her waist. It feels right, he notes as he watches the rise and fall of her chest, even as she struggles with the pain gnawing at her soul it feels right to hold her in his arms, more right than anyone else he had ever met.

The next time he wakes he is greeted with her small snores and grumbled words, he had long grown used to the noise. He kisses her forehead softly before rolling out of bed and stretching his limbs. She rolls into his vacated spot pulling the blankets around her neck and grumbling softly, a smile tugs at the corners of his mouth, it was moments like this that allow him a feeling of hope, hope that one day she would be sleeping in his bed out of want and not need. He shakes the thoughts away, guilt creeping up his spine. She was in a vulnerable place, her entire life felt like it was in free fall and here he is, falling in love with the broken shell of a woman he once knew.

He continues to scold himself internally as he crosses the room to the attached bath Grandpa built in middle school. He turns the nozzle of the shower as far left as it can go before stripping off his pants and climbing in. His sore muscles sing as he washes his hair and body. It was Saturday, which meant going to their second home and watching her across the room as she sat listening to the wedding being planned. He vows to talk to Gerald today, to see if maybe he can come up with something to help her feel whole again. The searing water drags his mind back to the present as he rinses his body off and turns the water off. He grabs a towel from the rack and wraps it around his waist before sitting on the side of the tub. He is just beginning to clip his nails when the door bursts open and he falls backwards into the bath.

Her hands fly to her mouth, stunned and speechless, as he tumbles backwards. His head hits the rim of the tub with a resounding bang. He groans loudly, hand rubbing the spot on his head that broke his fall. She steps forward, arms outstretched to help him as she begins stumbling over an apology.

"Oh god, I'm so sorry. I didn't realize you were in here, I was thinking about if Phoebe missed anyone on the invite list and I didn't hear the water going so I just opened the door. Why wasn't it locked though? What person in their right mind doesn't lock the bathroom door?" Her cheeks are bright red as she grabs his arm and helps him to his feet. Her eyes quickly scan his body and bulge when she notices his lack of clothing, the towel laying on the floor of the shower. His hands fly to cover himself as he scrambles for the towel. She stammers more apologies as she backs out the door, slamming it behind her. His cheeks are flushed as he rewraps himself, tugging the towel tightly around his waist. He stares in the mirror momentarily pushing his disheveled hair out of his eyes as his heart slows down. His brain races, searching desperately for something to do or say to make his situation less mortifying. Her muffled laughter pulls him out of his mind, making him reach for the door cautiously, heart in his throat.

"Helga…" He softly ventures, feeling insecurity creep into his spine. Her laugh grows louder, more wild as he slowly steps out from behind his blockade. Her head is thrown back, tears beginning to fall down her cheeks as her body trembles with laughter. "Helga…" He reaches a hand out to her. Her face is purple, tears flow freely, as she struggles to regain her breath. She shoos his hand away, whipping her face with her own. Seeing her so open he cannot help but chuckle himself. Her manic laughter eggs him on until they are both curled in on themselves. She reaches out for his arm, unsuccessfully trying to calm down. She gulps several times, as he wipes her eyes with his thumbs.

"The worst part of all this…..you're still in the freaking towel!" Her laughter swells once more, his heart thumping harder with each cackle. He looks down at himself, his laughter hidden behind a smirk. He looks down and shrugs his shoulders as she pokes him in the stomach. "Go put some pants on you freak!" He sticks his tongue out at her as he gets up from the couch they had collapsed on. He grabs a pair of sweat pants and an old teeshirt, her giggles filling his ears. He walks back into the bathroom, winking at her as he shuts the door.

She rubs her eyes clear and pulls her legs up under herself. It's been weeks since she allowed herself to laugh, to really laugh. All it took was him, in a compromising position, to open up the flood gates of her soul. The look on his face when he realized she saw him, completely exposed, was one she'd remember for the rest of her life. Her hands sweep her hair into a bun, trying to calm her breathing down. She feels the couch sink beside her has his hands wrap around her waist. She wasn't exactly sure when they became so touchy feely but she knew without a doubt he was the glue holding her pieces together.

"Arnold…." Her voice is soft, the pain still there but not as strong. "Thank you, so much, for everything. For being here for me, this is really above and beyond anything anyone could have ever done for me." His goofy half smile fills her with butterflies. His hands wrap tighter around her, their eyes searching each others for cues on what to do next. Her eyes dart to his lips as he begins to lean in to her, her pulse sky rocketing. They inch closer to each other, eyes fluttering shut as their lips meet. He softly molds his lips to hers, terrified if he moves too fast hell send her back into her shell. Her lips begin to pull away, the corners tugging into a smile as a laughter bubbles up her throat.

She can't stop seeing him naked, its been hours and all she can picture is the way water droplets clung to the muscular contours of his abs. She shakes her head, pulling her thoughts out of the gutter and back to her best friend who, currently, paces the floor weighing the pros and cons of a live band.

"The sound of a live band is so much more vibrant but the variety of a DJ is second to none. I just don't know what to do!" She sits hard on the chair, her hands slamming to the table in defeat. "I don't know what to do Helga…I just want this to be perfect."

"Phebes we're talking about music here. Besides, if there is anything I know, its that nothing is perfect. The wedding is going to be beautiful and fun and everything you could ever hope for because your marrying the love of your life. The music, the food, none of that crap matters. What does matter is you and Geraldo, thats it. Dance to a freaking boom box of 90's hits for all anyone cares. Plus, between you and me, you'll look too beautiful for anyone to care about the music." Phoebe raises her head and smiles sheepishly at Helga, she knew her friend was right, as she often was. Helga had been the other half of her brain for years, this was no different. Without Helga, the wedding would never be planned. "Personally, I say use a DJ…that way no matter what you want to dance to they'll have it and it won't be wildly off key."

"You're right Helga. Thank you." Phoebe drags her laptop in front of her and begins googling DJ's as Helga looks over to Arnold. He smiles shyly at her before looking back to Gerald. The two men were sitting on opposite ends of the couch, eyes drifting between the chaos in the kitchen and game on the flat screen. A beer in hand, Arnold leans over to Gerald as soon as Helga turns back to the music crises at hand.

"She's a little better today, she walked in on me naked this morning which made her laugh." Arnold's hands run through his hair, frustration bubbling to the surface now that she was not there to take the brunt of it. "I feel useless, every night is the same thing. She wakes up, goes downstairs, I wake up, bring her back up, we go to bed again. She spends the day either staring at a blank word document or sitting with Grandma and Grandpa and letting them talk about God knows what while I fix up the house and deal with the tenants. She doesn't leave, doesn't write, she just exists. Its killing me, because every now and then I get a glimpse of who she used to be, who she should be and then as soon as I get used to it, poof its gone!"

"Man, you have to relax. I know your worried about her, I am too. She's just as much as sister to me as Timberly at this point. She's got a lot of demons man, more than anyone I've ever met and right now she's dealing with them. Has she been eating? She's looking thinner every day."

"When I can make her…she doesn't have an appetite for anything. I offer all of her favorites and then some. I cant tell you have many times I talk her into a burger only to have her eat literally two bites and put the rest in the fridge and never touch it again. I just wish there was something I could offer her to help her work through everything in a different way…"

"Do you remember when she was in dance? In middle school she went to the studio almost every day after school to blow off steam. Phoebe swore it was the only thing to get her through you staying with your parents." He leans forward, eyes alive with an idea so unexpected Helga would either be speechless or beat them to a pulp for assuming things about her.

Arnold leans forward in his seat, heart thumping wildly with adrenaline of the thought of her finding solace. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

Gerald licks his lips, gears turning in his head. "Theres a ton of abandoned warehouses on the water that are dirt cheap, I can have Phoebe call Helga's manager to see about buying one. We could go in, clean it up, throw some mirrors on the walls and let her go at it."

"It'd be perfect, her own sanctuary thats away from everyone and everything. She used to go sit down by the water when she was pissed at her family, it's amazing. Gerald, your a genius, but I'm going to buy it for her, it'll be a sorry for being an unobservant ass gift."

Gerald snorts on his sip of beer and tips his bottle to his friend, "you're a bold man, Arnold."

They clink bottles and settle back into the seats, Arnold's mind racing with ideas on how to make heaven for his fallen angel. His eyes look over to her, heart swelling with the knowledge he finally knew how to make her happy again.

 _Hey guys! Let me start by apologizing profusely for my lack of updating the past few months. I had the worse case of writers block and redid the chapter no shorter than 15 times. With a new year ahead of us I promise this is taking a priority in my life, writing for you guys brings me such joy. That being said…please feel free to comment and message me, I will never not be excited for feedback. This story is a living breathing thing with a mind and direction all its own. To be honest this is never where I saw this story headed. So please be patient with me, this is my baby and I don't want it being presented as anything less than perfect._


	10. Chapter 10

Its been a month but he finally has the keys to a large warehouse overlooking Skookumchunk River in his hands. It took more work than he realized to convince his parents to allow him into their rainy day savings account from years gone by, but he did it. For only $75,000 he was the proud owner of a 5,000 sq ft piece of crap.

He walks up to the building slowly, really taking in the area he's in. To the left of him is the river, its dark waters lapping quietly at the shore. To the right are rows and rows of debilitated buildings, most in worse state than his own. As his came into view he breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn't the prettiest place, most people would continue by it without a second glance, but it wasn't completely fallen apart. The outside was intact, still doing its job of protecting the inside from the elements. The faded red facade and large metal doors were rusted but only enough to add character to the building. He struggles with the lock on the door, kicking twice to force his way in. As the door groans back, inch by painstaking inch, he is greeted with think layers of dust and debris. Garbage litters the holed floor and graffiti paints the walls. The space is open, no walls to hide behind, this would be perfect for her. He walks around the room slowly, his mind turning the scene before him into her very own studio. Nerves settle over him as he fully realizes the undertaking he's sign up for, so he calls in reinforcements to help.

Helga wraps a blanket around her shoulders, wandering around the halls of the boarding house aimlessly. With Arnold out of the house so much she was lonely, restless even. She has no idea what he's been up to lately, always being vague when she asked where he was going. She had long grown accustomed to the two of them being together day in and out. He was her glue, the sunshine in her every constant grey skies.

"Eleanor, come sit!" She sighs softly and follows the voice to the well worn living room, "its time for afternoon tea!" Helga glances at the clock, eight at night. She forces a smile to her face and curls up on the couch, Gertie pours two cups of lemonade from the teapot, muttering about the cost of coffee in China versus England. She reaches forward and cradles the cup in her hands. Her mind drifts in and out of the conversation in front of her, one of the blessings of Gertie was her ability to have a conversation for two singlehandedly. "How is the wedding going Eleanor? You never talk about it!"

Her lips pop open slightly, its been a while since Gertie had been that on it. Helga had basically given up on the woman ever knowing exactly what was going on. After all, Halloween was this weekend and the house was decorated for Saint Patricks Day.

"It's going good. We have everyone booked that we need and Phoebe is taking me dress shopping. Its been nice though, spending time together after all of these years of weekend plans. I've missed her…"

Gertie smiles and pats Helga's hands softly, "Good good, you deserve to be part of something so happy. You know Eleanor, I've been thinking…" Helga tilts her head, waiting patiently for the old woman to continue the thought. Fairly often that moment never comes but that never discourages Helga from listening. "I know in my old age I've been loosing some of my marbles. Even when you were a girl I've been known to ruffle feathers. I've read your writing, well Kimba read them to me, you have a talent that no-one in the world can replace. I was a librarian once, I know good books. I want to pass the wisdom I have left to another generation, to share my lessons and proverbs. Eleanor, you'll help me wont you? You don't even have to publish it, just keep it until you and Kimba have cubs of your own." Helga's blood runs hot as it rushes to her cheeks, she tries to stammer out a word as Gertie shakes her head and laughs. "Oh don't you try fooling me, I see the way he looks at you. Its like your ice cream on a cold winters day!"

A knock at the front door gives Helga the escape she so desperately needs. Gertie gets up, smiling at her, and walks to let their visitor in. Helga takes several deep breathes, its feels like forever since she's looked at him as anything other than her glue, she was too damaged to even think about romantic relationships. She shakes her head, attempting to shake the thoughts of him and her away. There was no point to indulging in that fantasy anymore, they were adults and he has seen her at her absolute lowest point. No-one in their right mind would want to be with someone as off kilter as her. Still, the picture of a little mix of them running around the halls of the boarding house appeared before she could stop it.

"Helga, we need to get going to the bridal shop in 10 minutes. I'll wait here while you go get dressed." Phoebe walks in the room saving her from her own thoughts.

She smiles at her best friend, "Hello to you too."

"We can talk once we get in the car, now go!" Her melodic laugh fills the room as she playfully bats at Helga's arm. With a playful roll of the eyes Helga gathers her blanket and heads up the stairs to change. Phoebe leans against the banister of the stairs and pulls her phone from her purse.

 **"** **Hey Babe. Arnold and I are down at the warehouse cleaning up. It's** **not too bad here, a little dirty but not terrible. We think we can get this place looking presentable by the end of November if we work hard now, its really just putting up mirrors and getting the utilities turned back on. Have fun dress shopping today and don't forget that its our wedding, not Rhonda's. Make sure you put your foot down if she gets to be…well…Rhonda. I love you foxy mama."**

Phoebe smiles at the long winded text, Gerald was always like that, sending these long messages to her that would have been easier as a quick phone call. She shakes her head and puts the phone away, emotionally steeling herself for Rhonda. The minute the woman heard about the wedding she insisted on making custom dresses for the bride and maid of honor. Phoebe politely declined several times but like everything else in Rhonda's life she eventually got her way. Today they were headed to Rhonda's shop front downtown to try on gowns that she will then redesign with elements they like for the wedding. Rhonda hasn't changed a bit since her formative years and would need a firm hand to not go over the top. Phoebe was eternally grateful she had Helga by her side. She barely notices when the former bounds down the stairs, dressed in a pair of jeans and a simple black teeshirt. Phoebe is comfortable enough with herself to admit her best friend is a bombshell, under eye bags, weight loss, and all. She smiles Helga grumbles while pulling her sneakers on, the faintest hints of her best friend returning to the surface.

"Princess, this color looks like something someone threw up." Helga's arms crossed insecurely in front of her chest, dresses always did this to her. The color wasn't really that bad but she hated being in yellow, all the color ever did was wash her out. She watches Rhonda roll her eyes and wave her hand in response.

"It's not all about you Helga, Phoebe is best complimented by yellow tones and your going to be standing up there next to her, you need to compliment her." She walks around Helga and sticks pins too close to her skin for comfort, bringing the already tight dress closer to a second skin. Looking beyond the color the dress wasn't half bad. It was tight around the bust, with sleeves that hung softly off her shoulder. If she was brutally honest it looked like a slimmed out Belle dress from Beauty and the Beast. The fit, once taken in, would be perfect and incredibly flattering.

"Rhonda, although I greatly appreciate the attention to detail I was hoping to have Helga in pink. It is one of my wedding colors after all." Phoebe is standing slightly off to the side, watching the scene unfold with a small smile painted onto her lips. Rhonda heads juts to the side as she considers the change.

"Goddess, it is her wedding, you need to listen if this is really going to be a gift." Thad steps out from the back, carrying four flutes of champagne. He has grown tall, filled out, and traded glasses for contacts. He looks like a man who was not only trendy but was take charge and didn't tolerate anyones crap, everyone except for her. His goddess, was still stick thin, tall, and absolutely stunning. Her hair was kept lob length and jet black, she was known to model her own creations from time to time. She smiles at her jester wickedly, the chemistry between them visible to both Phoebe and Helga. "Besides, if I'm not mistaken, Helga does look stunning in pink."

A blush rushes to her cheeks as she looks down at the awful yellow fabric wrapped around her body.

"Do you know how infuriating it is when you come in and do that?" Rhonda's voice goes shrill as his smile grows. She snatches a flute from his hand and throwing in back in a single gulp. "I'll be back in a moment ladies, I need to pull some color swatches to show you." Thad shakes his head, smile tugging at his lips. He walks a flute over to Helga before presenting one to Phoebe. He lifts the remaining glass into the air with gusto.

"To the future my dears, may you take on whatever lays ahead by the horns and ride the beast into the night." He clinks their glasses and chugs his down. "Alright darling," he extends a hand to Phoebe, "its time to dress the bride."

They walk back down the hall toward the dressing rooms as Helga stands, alone, for the first time in hours. She wanders back over to the mirror, her hands running over the chiffon fabric as sweat beads upon her forehead. She hears them talking, hears the excitement in their voices. Why the hell wasn't she sharing in those feelings? Why was her chest tightening instead of fluttering?

Her best friend in the entire world, no her sister in this chaotic and miserable life, was making a lifelong commitment to the man who has stood by her for years. The man had proven time and time again to love Helga much like Phoebe had. The three of them were friends, it was the closet thing she had to a real family. This union has been coming for years, it was something she's wanted for them for years which is why she gave them an apartment. But now, confronted with the reality of it all, she felt sick to her stomach. They were a team, the two of them, and she was left with the realization that she had nowhere to belong, no home, no family. Phoebe appears in the mirror behind her and she turns.

Her breathing quickens as the panic courses through her veins. The white dress, the permanence of the future for them and the free fall of her own was too much to take. Tears cloud her eyes, but not for the right reasons, she feels as if she is floating above her body, she watches as Rhonda steps forward and wraps Phoebe, who looks radiant, in a hug as both girls choke on sobs of excitement. Her hands lift to her mouth wordlessly as she watches her best friend step forward toward the mirror. The gown clung to all of the right places, its flowing fabric leaving her looking like an angel or a goddess. The blushing bride and her seamstress gush over the perfection of the gown on her, as if it wasn't made for her. The tears slowly slide out of her closed eyes as she pinches her hand.

"Helga… are you okay?" The concern in Phoebe's voice was so palatable it hurt her more, this moment should be so exciting and happy and here she is having a panic attack in the middle of it all. "Helga, whats going on?" Her lip juts out against her will and shivers as she bites against it, she breathes in deeply and deliberately, trying and failing to keep her emotions under control. Phoebe's hand rests gently on her shoulder causing a sob to rip from her chest. She faintly hears Rhonda excuse herself as the chokes tear through her body and shatter the sound barrier. She collapses in on herself, so angry at her inability to just hold it together.

"I'm so sorry Phoebe, you look so incredible, I mean that." Phoebe kneels next to her and rubs her back, shushing her sobs softly, patiently. "This is so disgustingly selfish of me, today is supposed to be about you." Sobs choke out as Phoebe smiles at her friend.

"Helga, its ok, you can go. This isn't weakness, this is a sign that you have been strong for far to long. As silly as this is, the fitting is over, this is the dress. I can feel it in my bones and, frankly, your reaction cements that. I know you are feeling alone and afraid that once I am married you wont have a place in my life. I know you know how absurd that is and I understand that you can't control these feelings. You are my best friend, and I love you."

"I need to leave for a little bit," She chokes out softly, "I need space, perspective. I need just a week or two to just get myself back under control." Phoebe smiles and presses her forehead to Helga's, leaving them eye to eye, and nods her head. A shaky smile paints her face as she rubs her eyes and stands.

"I'll be back soon, I promise." She turns and walks out of the room as quickly as possible, yanking the gown up past her knees as she moves. She closes the door of the dressing room and slides to the ground against it. It was 11pm, she was just thankful she had her purse and credit card and could head directly to the airport.


	11. Chapter 11

"What the hell do you mean she's gone Gerald, she's been living with me for God's sake!" He hands bury in his hair with frustration. He paces the floor of his workspace as Gerald tries to explain what the hell is going on.

"She took off for a little bit man, Phoebe just got off the phone with me and said she left the dress shop and headed to the airport saying she needed some space or perspective or something. She'll be back in a couple weeks and it'll be okay. Honestly, we were a little surprised at how long she stayed here."

"It'll be okay? Are you kidding me Gerald, I wake up every night and she's downstairs with a goddamn drink in her hand. She sobs every night over her mom and you think she'll be okay after taking off to be alone. She took off without saying a word to me, not even an inkling that she felt like she needed to get away. You guys beat into me that she was damaged and needed constant supervision and now because she's on a plane somewhere it'll be fine?" His hands slam down against the table he had been cutting mirrors on, tools crashing to the floor. "Where did she go?" His voice is rough, edging into volatile. He barely recognizes the blazing eyes in the mirror.

"We don't know, she didn't say. She has seven houses man, she went to one of them. I get your worried, I am too, this girl is a sister to me, she's the reason I could propose with a ring worthy of Phoebe. Your being crazy though, she's Helga, she's stronger than you think. I don't get this possessive creepiness you've got going in. I trust when Phoebe says she'll be fine."

"Can you stop saying I don't know her? I get its been years but who lives with her? Who sits with her every night and brings her to bed? Who the hell has been picking up the pieces, you? I know her a hell of a lot better than you think I do and I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that she shouldn't be alone right now."

Gerald remains silent as Arnold seethes. He knows his friend has a point, that living together has given him insight that Gerald never had, but he stood by Phoebe. The girls had been inseparable since childhood, they knew each other better than anyone else. Arnold slams around the room, gathering his things at lightening speed.

"Do you have her addresses?"

Gerald sighs, exasperated by his best friend, "Yea, but man you have to respect her space, she left for a reason…"

"Look, I missed out on her once because I didn't chase after her, I'm not letting that happen again. Especially not after what she's been through."

"You're a bold kid Arnold," Gerald pauses, allowing the reality to sink in that Arnold wasn't going to let this go, "I hope you have some flyer miles, your gonna need them."

Helga sits silently against bar of her hotel, hands tucked under her chin, vodka cranberry in front of her. She sips her drink as her mind swirls around the last three days. The night of the fitting she took the first flight out to Los Angeles and booked a room at the Ritz, one of her personal favorites when being in the apartment wasn't working for her. Getting the suite was no problem, she had more than enough money to afford it and was such a frequent guest that the management was more than willing to accommodate her last minute request. She allows the vodka to warm her core and spin her senses, body relaxing into the stool.

"You're absolutely insane, you do know that don't you?" His breath on her ear sent chills down her spine and through her heart, the warmth of the alcohol nullified. His hands slide over her shoulders as he takes a seat next to her and signals to the bartender. "I'll take an old fashion, please."

The hardness in his voice catches her breath in throat. "How the hell did you find me?"

"You really think I wasn't going to come after you? Helga, the past few weeks all I've been doing is making sure your okay." Her eyes slip down as she bites her lip softly, apology sitting on the tip of her tongue. "Theres nothing else I'd rather be doing, so save your apology." Her eyes drift up to his, steely blue melted into a sapphire burned into his hard emerald. 'I'm not going to lie to you, I was doing absolutely fine until I met you again, sure I had my problems but I was happy. Now, now I can't get you out of my mind no matter what I do, no matter who I'm with, all I can focus on is you."

"Arnold, I'm sorry. I'm sorry I took off without saying a word, I'm sorry your finding me sitting in some bar…"

"Looking heartbreakingly good." His eyes slide down her body, drinking in her every feature. She is poured into a little black dress that clings to her body like a second skin, her hair in loose beachy waves around her face. Her makeup done to showcase her eyes and lips. She looks like a goddess dropped in the middle of mundane life. A blush creeps across her cheeks before she can continue.

"I know it must have hurt you when I left and it was insane. I just felt so trapped in that God forsaken little city that I had to leave before I suffocated."

"So why not just say that to me? Just be honest with me Helga, thats all I want." His hands take hers, punctuating exactly how serious he was being with her.

"Honesty, you want honesty? Honestly, right now I'm the kind of buzzed where bad decisions seem like great ideas. My current brilliant idea? Tell you how absolutely good you look, as good as the first time I ran into you after all those years. I cant remember why I didn't tell you I was leaving because again it was insane. I want you to stay with me for a few weeks and just explore the city with me in this crappy little car I have parked back at my place. I want to kiss you so badly right now and forget about life back in Hillwood. Forget about the pain and suffering that place has given us and just get lost in each other here."

The pounding of her heart drowns out the music around them, her throat is dry and thick, her hands are shaking. His eyes are searching hers, frantic, looking for something so deep within her soul that she cant possibly fathom what it is. He feels her energy vibrating against his own so quickly that it might stop being felt all together. His mind cant stop focusing on just how goddamn beautiful she is sitting there. It hits him very hard that she isn't an angel, she's no goddess; she's a siren, destined to pull him under if he stays.

The bartender places his drink on the bar, breaking the trance momentarily. They both turn forward, not realizing until now that they were facing each other. She sips her drink slowly, thoughtfully, so immersed in pretending that none of this was happening that she barely noticed as he drains his in a single sip and places his free hand on the middle of her thigh.

"You want a night of reckless? I'm ready for whatever you say, Helga."

The lights of the city illuminate her smile in a way he'd never seen before. She was sweating, hair matting to her face. They spent the last four hours with their bodies pressed together on the dance floor of some club that she heard about from a friend as 'one of the trendiest places in LA'. She looks alive, vibrant, she attracts stares from everyone who sees her. They walk hand in hand down the street her laughter echoing around them, she is infectious.

"You know I've had a place here for literally years and I've never done anything like this before?" She looks up to the sky, finding the smog of the city blinding to the stars she still finds the lights against it mesmerizing. His eyes drank her in, a side of her he'd never seen before was developing rapidly and he knew beyond a shadow of a doubt he was screwed, there would be no turning back from feelings like this. "You know what I've literally always wanted to do? Get a tattoo. Something deep and personal and meaningful, ya know?"

"I have a couple, they're really special if you put the effort in." Her eyes grew as wide as she stops in her tracks, pulling him back abruptly.

"Where? Why haven't you mentioned them before?!"

"On my back mostly, one on my ribs. I got them in places I've studied, as a way to always remind myself of the cultures I've seen." He shrugs, blushing under her gaze. Her eyes flash from disbelief, to anger, to jealousy.

"Come with me." She grabs his hand once again and pulls him down the street. She leads him up and down blocks, turning sharply every few streets.

"Helga, where are we going?" She ignores his question and continues to pull him along, her determination setting a thin tight line along her lips. For several minutes he asks where he is being led to and she ignores him. His temper begins to get the best of him as the round the 7th corner since they started, "Helga, where the hell are you dragging me and why aren't you talking? Did I piss you off or something?"

She turns, dropping his hand and gesturing to a 24/7 tattoo parlor across the street as if it was the most obvious answer in the world.

"There is no way in hell I'm not getting one now." Before he can dissuade her she's bounding across the road with newfound excitement, he has no choice but to follow her. She stands at the door, practically bouncing with excitement. "Stop looking like I'm brining you to a funeral parlor, I've known the artist since I first came out here and I've been meaning to get something done. Lets go." She drags out the o's, whining softly. He shakes his head and enters the shop with her close on his heels. It looks like a normal parlor he notes as he glances around, everything neat and clean but not a soul to be found.

"Damian!" Her voice rises over the music shrilly, causing Arnold to jump. "You're favorite natural blonde is here and looking to get inked!"

Two hours later, and a very awkward introduction on Arnold's behalf, she leaves the studio with a medium size bandage covering her forearm. He protested her for all of the session but failed to dissuade her from getting what she wanted, and if he is completely honest there is nothing that makes him happier.

"I cant believe I finally did it!" She twirls in the street as cars wiz by. "I've been wanting to get this since I was fourteen."

He takes her gently by the elbow and leads her out of the middle of the road. "What is it, since you wouldn't allow me in the room with you?"

Her smile falls slightly as a blush colors her cheeks scarlet. He smiles, hoping his encouragement will return her excitement.

"It's not like you got my face tattooed on you," He pauses, realizing that the girl is crazy enough to do just that, if she pleases," right?"

She smacks his arm and laughs, embarrassment rising in her chest, "Not in your wildest dreams football head." She takes a few steps, knowing if she leaves he will follow. "Its kind of corny, I got a sun but the center of it is a crescent moon and some stars." She lightly pats the bandage as he eyes her carefully.

"I don't think its corny at all but what does it mean to you, if you don't mind me asking?"

She gulps, "Well if I'm going to be completely honest, like I said I would be at the bar, growing up I always thought of you as the sunshine of my life and after you left and I was broken I realized I had to be my own sunshine, but I also knew I was my own moon too, the darkness in me, and the stars are kind of like the representation of the people who give me light in the darkness of myself." They walk quietly for a few moments as he ponders her answer.

"So you saw me as sunshine?"

"Criminy, I give you all that and all you focus on is the fact my nine year old self saw you as a personal orb of happiness?" Her face is hard but her voice betrays her amusement in him. He smiles and shrugs his shoulders.

"I dont know, I guess I never saw myself as that special…"

"Are you kidding me? You, not special? That'd be like saying the sun itself is just a star!" Her arms open wide, exasperated immediately from his density.

"I mean if we want to get technical…" His grin is infectious, causing her to shake her head wildly.

"You know what I mean. You were always the special one out of all of us. The positivity in our negative lives. Lets be honest here, none of us had bad childhoods except for you arguably. Sure you had Grandma and Grandpa, who are freaking amazing, but it wasn't the same as your parents. You could have been the most negative of all of us and instead you always found the silver lining in everything. You saved the neighborhood from being bulldozed, stopped the bullying of God knows how many people, befriended everyone who came your way no matter how stubborn or weird they were, taught Gerald how to ride a bike when all of us made fun of him, you were charitable, thoughtful, and always there to lend a hand. If there was a picture beside the definition of special it'd be you."

He walks silently for a while, her heart pounding in her chest for fear she said too much, "Huh, you know I never looked at it that way, I guess I always just believed if you were kind the world would be kind back." He turns to her, emerald eyes shining brightly, "thank you Helga. I never would have looked at it that way without you." He reaches his hand out for hers, fingers lacing together. "So, what else do you have in mind this morning?"

She pulls her phone from her bra and laughs, "Crap its four thirty. I don't think I've ever stayed up this late."

"I don't think I have either. But, I don't mind it, not with you at least." She turns to look at him, the smile on his lips, the way his eyes glow like jewels, the way his shirt is unbuttoned at the top and exposing the collar of his neck. He is strong, and smart, and kind, and undeniably sexy. Her palms begin to sweat as she digs up the courage to suggest one final activity.

"I have something in mind, if your brave enough to try it." The challenge in her voice sends adrenaline through his veins, he is almost positive there isn't a thing in the world that she could suggest that he'd say no to at this point. Looking at her in the light of the city, he saw a girl he could love. She was fiery and passionate, opinionated but willing to listen, she had years of experience but had a ton to learn. She was gorgeous and smart and so incredibly sexy. No, he is sure there isn't a thing she could suggest that he would deny her.

"And what is that?"

"You, and me, and my hotel bed."

The elevator doors slide shut at the same moment their bodies crash into each other. His fingers dig into her hips as she wraps hers in his hair, pulling his mouth harder against her own. His lips form to hers like they are made to be there, causing her to breath harder. His tongue slides softly across her lips as he grinds his hips against hers, pushing her up against a wall. She lets out a small gasp that gives him the perfect opportunity to slip into her mouth. Her tongue meets his at both succumb to the desires of their bodies, there is no turning back. She tugs his hair softly, giving her the upper hand in the wrestling match occurring between them. His fingers dig harder into her before one hand slides to her neck while the other skims her ass to her thigh, hoisting it against him and giving a better angle to grind against her. She can feel the pulsing of her heart over her entire body, unsure if it is from a lack of breathing or pure need for him. She works her hands on the back of his neck, pulling him deeper and deeper into the kiss. He pulls his mouth away abruptly, scaring her half to death, before wickedly grinning at her and lowering his lips to her neck.

She is swimming, no drowning, in the pleasure that she feels. He nips and kisses the delicate skin she has exposed, traveling lower with each peck. Her nails dig into his shoulders as he peppers her décolleté with his lips before dipping lower. She moans softly, a smile forming on his face. Unlike the last time they kissed, they are both sober enough to know what is going on and neither wants to stop. The elevator comes to a stop as she presses into him.

"Think you can keep up with me?" She whispers throatily in his ear before slipping out of his grasp and bolting down the hall. His inner beast comes out as he stalks after her, both thrilled and slightly terrified about what is going to happen once he catches her.

 _Hey guys, thank you for you endless patience and understanding. My family had a personal emergency that has left me a bit tied up. I will be doing my best to update more regularly, which I know I promise all the time. Anywho, I really love this chapter so please be kind to it. It's not perfect but it is extremely personal to me. And no, Helga is not magically cured of all of her demons just because he kisses her but being in a different city with different problems is honestly the most therapeutic thing in the world, I know from experience. And if there is one thing we know about Helga, she will run from her emotional wounds long before she will face them head on. I love all of you so so much and thank you again. XOXOXO_


	12. Chapter 12

Fuck. He was closing in on her much quicker than she anticipated. His fingers reach out and graze along her hips as she turns the corner of the hall. She knows he's so close to catching her but if she moves just a little faster, just pushes her body a tiny bit harder, she'll maintain control. Her heart is pounding in her ears, shell never admit it but the power struggle was much sexier than she anticipated. To see her mellow mannered white knight give into the darkest of his desires is nearly too much to handle. The door is within reach, her fingers wrap around the handle as her body swings past the entry and back again, her momentum too great to slow before getting to it. She struggles to remove the key from her bra as his footsteps approach…so close to winning the game. She sucks in an breathe of air as the key slides into the lock, she's home free.

"Gotcha." His hands slam on either side of her head as she whirls to face him. His lips reach down to her, barely granting her the privilege of kissing him before he moves to her ear, "You're going to pay for making me chase you." His hands snag hers and slam them above her head, his movements reminding her of a snake. He slowly pushes his hips against her, sparks of electricity moving between them like a live wire. His left hand slides down her arms delicately, his fingers just tracing the skin making her back arch and head throw back. He could barely contain himself from ripping the dress off of her right in the hallway. His brain barely forming coherent thoughts beyond ravaging her as payback of years of torment. His finger drags along her collarbone and dips along the curve of her breast. He should rip the fragile strap right now and gain access to what he is sure is milky white skin. Her soft whines, unable to be held back, break through his fog and bring him back to the moment at hand. He has the woman of his dreams, pinned in front of him, and he's wasting time dragging his fingers along her skin instead of taking her.

"Open the door Helga. Now." His breath fans across her face as his stern voices shakes her to the core. He squeezes her backside as she turns back to the door and slides her key into the lock, she cannot help but to push back against his hand, his touch its very own brand of cocaine and she was addicted. The door gives way to a room of breathtaking proportions, not that Arnold cares. His eyes are focused on the curve of her ass and how long it will take him to get the zipper of her dress down. He slams the door as he walks in the room and pulls her into him.

"You know, I should make you suffer for everything you've done to me." The color drains from her face as he forces her backward toward the sitting area. "I spent years thinking about you, do you know how many times I was reduced to pleasuring myself while imagining you. You didn't even have the decency to send a photo to get me by. I had to rely of Gerald's half assed descriptions of how gorgeous you became, between those and your photos on your book jackets I've developed a very particular idea of exactly what you look like under that dress." The color returns to her face in shades of crimson and blood red. "Do you know how sexy you are when you blush?"

His teeth sink into the delicate flesh of her neck as she throws her head back, he pushes her down onto the couch and stands over her, taking survey of his prey. "Then I literally am knocked off my feet by you in a chance encounter. Every night since then I've been dreaming about this night, about exactly how it will feel to take you and make you understand just how badly you fuck up my head." She crawls back, trying to gain some kind of ground, he crawls over her and pushes her down seductively. "And to top it off, you took off on me, left me high and dry to run to some city and drink in some bar. Oh, there is no doubt in my mind that you deserve to be punished."

"Do you really think I'm afraid of you? Get real Arnold, your just a big softie." Her eyes are wicked, challenging him.

"I don't really like your tone of voice." His eyes survey her body sprawled out beneath him. Her dress slid up to her upper thigh, hair wild around her face, lipstick smudged. His manhood stretched against his pants as her legs rub together in anticipation. "You're going to regret that."

He licks his lips as he grabs her leg and flips her over. His hand rubs up the back of her leg his fingers lighting her skin on fire. He toys with the hem of her dress, exposing the very bottom of her cheeks. She breathes heavy, her butt rising up into the air. His eyes widen as he spots his opportunity to teach her some manners.

 _WHACK!_

She screams out in shock, his hand rubbing her tender skin. Her whimpers turn into groans as his hands work her over. She settles down, enjoying his gentle touch.

 _WHACK!_

Again, she jumps away from him. Her skin stings through the all too thin fabric of her dress.

"What the fuck Arnold, that hurt!" He flips her over roughly, eyes nearly black.

"Good. Thats what its supposed to do. Do you not understand punishment?" His hands slide up her thighs, she pulls back attempting to get away from his harsh fingers. He pulls her down, pressing his body against her to hold her still. "Oh no, your not getting away that easy."

His hand pulls her above her head, pinning them down. His other hand slides over her body squeezing her tenderly. "Oh my little pet, I'm not done with you yet." His fingers begin to tease her, he instinctively knows exactly where to touch. Before she can wrap her mind around the situation his hand releases her own and pinch at her delicate chest. She gasps, her body winding up like a toy as he works her over like an expert.

Quickly, he has her panting and whining for mercy, she feels herself on the edge of bliss so close to relief she can taste it. She closes her eyes, tilting her head back as he presses his lips to the base of her throat.

"I'm going to…" Her breathing hitches and she begins to spasm under him, she is beginning to fall over the edge and just as she breathes in ready to scream, he stops. His fingers pull away from her, lips stop their assault on her neck. "You're absolutely evil," she whines, body desperate for him.

"You'd like to see evil?" He chuckles darkly, "Whatever you say Helga." Before she can respond his fingers begin to work her again.


End file.
